


The Seven Day Recruitment

by DeePet



Series: Ivy's Poisonous [2]
Category: Deadpool (2016), Deadpool - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, Deadpool - Freeform, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Ivy - Freeform, Ivy thinks Wade's an idiot, Merc with a mouth, Poison Ivy - Freeform, Recruitment, Short Story, Some Fluff for ya muff, That Will Lead into more, Wade's an idiot, blackinfanfiction, he's an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-20 09:29:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6000907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeePet/pseuds/DeePet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took God seven days to create the world, so maybe Ivy could recruit this Deadpool guy in a week.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Mission

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who went to see Deadpool yesterday? If you read 'Poison Ivy' before I deleted it off the site, this is like that but written a million times better.

A copper-haired, tanned skin woman turned off her shower head and wrapped a towel around herself. She fought the yawn that threatened to escape her mouth and wiped the steam covered mirror to see her reflection. 

Bright brown eyes stared back at her and she flashed herself a smile before grabbing her toothbrush and scrubbing at her teeth. She spit the toothpaste out of her mouth and headed into her bedroom, shamelessly dropping the towel behind her. 

She stood nude in front of her closet, looking for an outfit for the day. The copperette sifted through clubwear, short skirts, and catsuits to find a pencil skirt and a button down at the back of her closet. She placed her ‘grown up’ clothes on her unmade bed and walked to her underwear drawer. 

Her panty drawer was separated into three sections; period panties, gettin’ some panties, and might be gettin’ some panties. The categories were pretty self explanatory. The copperette picked out a pair of ‘might be gettin’ some’s and pulled them up her long legs, then she picked out the bra that accompanied the panties, fastening the hooks behind her back. 

The hazel-skinned woman coated herself in a vanilla-scented lotion, her signature scent wafting through the quiet bedroom. Watching herself in the mirror, she put her long, curly, copper hair in a high ponytail, leaving a couple of curls out to frame her face. She twisted her hair around the base of the ponytail until she was left with a tight ball. She put bobby pins in the ball to secure her bun in place. The copperette returned to her bathroom and applied a light BB cream to her face and applied a light pink lipstick to her full lips. 

Finally ready to get dressed, she walked into her bedroom and slid on her black pencil skirt that was a little too tight on her behind. She shrugged on the white blouse and buttoned it up, but not too high, she still wanted to show a little cleavage. She then tucked the shirt into her skirt, being mindful to keep her clothes from wrinkling. She placed black patent pumps on her small feet and hurried over to her night stand, grabbing her earpiece and placing it in her ear. 

“Good Morning Agent Black.” An A.I.’s voice rang through the earpiece. 

“Morning, Friday.” The copperette woman replied as she strapped twin knives around her thigh, under her skirt. On the other thigh, she strapped a compact pistol. She was now ready for work. 

The young woman walked into her living room, her heels clicking against her wooden floor. She picked up her white leather suitcase, did a quick once over of the room, and left her apartment. She pressed the button to the elevator and waited patiently, her foot tapping on the floor.

When the lift arrived, it was empty and she was thankful for that. She walked into it and called out the floor she wanted to go to. The copperette woman took out her phone and scrolled through it absentmindedly, checking her busy calendar. The doors dinged open and she put her phone away, clicking and clacking out of the lift. 

The copperette woman smiled and nodded to her fellow agents as she walked the usual way to the meeting rooms of the briefing floor. She did not know what the meeting was to be about, an agent almost never did, but she was anxious. It could be anything from her going on a new mission, to her being locked up for insubordination. 

She had come a long way from being the immature recruit she was when she joined S.H.I.E.L.D. and had earned the respect of her colleagues. Her powers had been heightened and she now knew how to control them, not to mention how much her hand to hand combat had improved. She had even earned a codename. 

The young woman reached her assigned meeting room and placed her fingerprints on the pad beside the door. The mechanical sound of the door unlocking alerted her that she was in the right place and she swung the door open. 

At the end of a long mahogany conference table stood Agent Hill and Agent Romanoff. The woman walked to the end of the table and smiled at her colleagues; she got a smile and a smirk in return. 

“Good morning, Ivy.” Agent Hill smiled at the copper-haired girl. 

“Morning, Maria. Morning, Nat.” She took a seat at the conference table. “Am I in trouble?” 

Natasha chuckled and shook her head, taking a seat across from Ivy. “No.” The redhead stopped laughing and looked at Ivy with a pointed look. “Should you be?” 

The copperette’s eyes widened and she quickly turned her attention to the older brunette standing in front of the room. “So Maria, what you got for me?” 

“Well Agent Black,” The brunette woman started, handing Ivy a file. “You’re going out on your first recruitment mission.” 

Ivy took the file and opened it, seeing a picture of a man in a skintight black and red suit. There were two swords strapped to his back and two twin pistols strapped to his thighs. Ivy took a look at his facial profile picture and he was flipping the camera off. According to the file, the man was 6’2, 210 pounds, and bald. No age was listed and his eye color was missing. 

“Is this that Spiderman guy? I thought we already had a guy on him?” The copperette thought out loud, still looking through the file. 

“No, this is a mercenary named Wade Wilson, alias Deadpool.” Natasha informed her, leaning back in her chair. 

“The fuck kind of name is Deadpool?” Ivy mumbled as she read the file. He was a high school dropout (like her), from Canada (weird), and ex-military. He was an expert marksman, skilled at hand to hand combat, and highly skilled at fighting with blades. He had thousands of known kills, powers of regeneration and was immortal. 

Ivy’s eyebrow twitched, a nervous tick of hers. “Are you two trying to kill me? Is that why you're sending me on this suicide mission?” 

“No,” Maria shook her head. “The opposite actually.” 

The copperette closed the file and crossed her arms, glaring at the older agent. “How am I supposed to convince him to join us? I’ll be dead before I introduce myself and my power can’t work on him since he can heal himself; the poison wouldn’t even work!” 

The young agent had a strange power, if you would even call it that, she could kill something with a touch. Ivy’s pupils would dilate, her skin would pale and when she touched the person their life force would drain from them and into Ivy; then they would drop dead.

“We know that.” Natasha informed her with a roll of her eyes. “We want you to use your power of persuasion to get him to join us.” 

Ivy could also make anyone do anything she wanted, all she had to do was look in their eyes and ask. The person would go into a trance and do exactly as she said. Of course when Ivy was a little hellraiser, she used this power to her advantage. Free drinks, free clothes, sexual partners, you name it. Any time she would be in trouble all she would have to do is look at them with her big, brown, doe eyes and open her full lips and say, “I’m so sorry, please let me go.” And they would. They had no choice. This ability was Ivy’s favorite, though it did get her kicked out of the house for ‘witchcraft’, as her parents called it. 

The copperette woman sighed, “Reading his file, ‘Deadpond’ or whatever the hell he calls himself would cut my tongue out before I could even speak!” 

“He won’t!” Maria assured the young woman, “He won’t be able to, Black. We’ve tested your power on mutants and it never fails. You’ll be able to control him, that’s why we're sending you.” Ivy bit her lip nervously, fiddling with her fingers. Maria sighed and placed her hand on the young woman’s knee. “Ivy we wouldn’t send you if we thought you couldn’t do it.” 

Natasha nodded with Maria and looked at Ivy, her green eyes boring into the younger agents. “Ivy we need him. If he’s not working for us, he’ll be working against us and putting lives in danger.” 

Ivy let out a drawn out sigh before finally agreeing, “Okay. Okay. Where am I going and when?” 

Maria smiled, relieved that the young agent had agreed to go. “San Francisco, in an hour.” 

After a quick briefing and a wish of luck, Ivy strapped into a quinjet and being flown to San Francisco. She was reading over Deadpool’s file and nervously chewing on her thumbnail. She was still in her clothes from that morning, Maria had told her not to change so Mr. Wilson would not be intimidated by her, but she had put on a little more makeup and undid her severe bun. 

She was very anxious; she had never been on a recruitment mission before. The higher-ups usually reserved those kind of missions for experienced agents; the Captain Americas and Black Widows. 

Ivy played with the end of her ponytail as the pilot told her to prepare for landing. She reached a hand up and gripped her seat strap as the plane began to descend. 

“Welcome to San Francisco.” The pilot quipped as they made their way down the landing strip. 

“Hopefully this isn’t my death site.” The copperette mumbled, unstrapping herself from her seat. The ramp of the quinjet went down and Ivy stood from her seat, running a smoothing hand over her clothes. She picked up her suitcase and slid on a pair of cat-eye sunglasses over her eyes. She clicked and clacked down the ramp and onto the landing strip pavement, walking to the SUV that was parked and ready for her. 

She nodded to the driver and got into the backseat of the car, a burly man shutting the door behind her. The car took off and Ivy took out her cell phone, calling Maria. 

“I’m here.” She said as the brunette woman answered the phone. 

“Excellent.” The agent replied, adding, “Wade Wilson lives in an apartment with a roommate.” 

“What?” Ivy furrowed her brows, “You didn’t tell me about a roommate before.” 

“Don’t worry, Black. It’s an old blind woman, she’s not a threat.” Maria assured the curly-haired woman, making Ivy laugh.

“Why does he live with an old blind woman? Is she any relation?” Ivy inquired.

“No. Just be mindful and let no harm come to her.” 

“Aye aye boss.” The copperette signed off, hanging up the phone. She took a compact out of her suitcase and touched up her lipstick, puckering her lips in the mirror. She flashed her teeth and ran a finger over the pearly whites, clearing any lipstick from her teeth. She put her compact away and let her ponytail down, shaking her curls out and flipping her head down and up again, giving her a bombshell look. To put her look together, she undid two more buttons on her top, making the little cleavage that she had stick out. The young agent then pulled out her recruit’s file, looking over it one last time. 

The car pulled up to a crumbling apartment building and parked across the street. Ivy put the file away and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths to focus her mind. The copperette’s mind was the source of her power of persuasion. Even if her mind wasn’t focused, the power still worked, but she would have to look in the person’s eyes. If Ivy was mentally prepared before she used her power, all she had to do was tilt her voice in a certain way and the person would follow her orders, eye contact or not. S.H.I.E.L.D. was a key principle of her discovering how to enhance this aspect of her power, specifically Wanda Maximoff.

“Okay,” Ivy breathes out, once she is ready. “Showtime.” She exits the car with her briefcase on her shoulder and walks across the street to the apartment building. Checking her phone, she checks the apartment number and makes her way to the apartment. When she’s outside the door, she smooths her clothes once more and pulls her shirt down a tad, then she runs her hand through her curls, flipping her hair to the side. 

The copperette takes a breath and makes the sign of the cross, before knocking on the door. A ‘Coulson smile’ ticked on her face, the same pleasant smile Agent Coulson had when he recruited her, as she waited for someone to answer the door. 

The apartment door opened, revealing an elderly black woman in a purple sweatsuit with thick sunglasses on. Ivy deduced that she was the mercenary's roommate. 

“Good afternoon ma’am,” Ivy’s pleasant voice rang, “Does a Wade Wilson live here?” 

“Are you a cop?” The elder asked, and Ivy laughed. 

“No ma’am.” She replied.

The woman sniffed the air around the young girl and grimaced. “You smell like a hooker.” She brashly stated and Ivy’s brown eyes narrowed at the woman. “You one of his whores?” 

The copperette’s eyebrow twitched in anger but she forced a smile on her face. “So he does live here?” She asked, not waiting for the old woman to answer. She altered her voice in that special way she does and ordered, “Let me in.” 

The woman moved to the side and Ivy sauntered in the apartment, her eyes darting around the dirty place. It looked like elderly people lived there and smelled of mothballs and bengay. A brown, stained couch sat against the wall next to a desk chair where an unfinished cabinet stood. “Can I look around?” Ivy inquired, though she knew the old woman would say yes. 

“Knock yourself out, kid.” The woman said, finding her way to a chair and sitting down. 

The copperette sauntered around the apartment, looking into the first door she saw. It was obviously the old woman’s room, decked out in the 50’s pink old people love. She shut the door and looked across the hallway, finding another bedroom. 

She opened the door and the smell of a teenaged boy hit her, making her scrunch up her nose at the musk. She flipped on the light and the room was very messy, trash everywhere. A table was in the middle of the room and numerous weapons sat on it, along with a hello kitty tote bag. On the opposite wall, there was a cork board with a map, photographs of a bald man, and red string. 

Ivy looked over the map with furrowed brows, chewing on her thumbnail. Who was he looking for? The familiar pressure of a gun pressed to the back of her head made her pause. She took a breath and slowly turned around, coming face to face with her masked recruit. 

“Oh ho,” The man chuckled lowly, “It must be my birthday.”


	2. Day One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy's first day on the job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day.

Soft breathing was the only thing that was heard in the dank room as the cold metal of a gun dug into her forehead. She was face to face with a mercenary in a red and black suit but she was still able to keep calm. 

The copperette licked her lips and slowly raised her hands in surrender, trying to show that she was not a threat. 

“At the risk of sounding like every cliche spy movie ever,” The guy stated before pushing his gun tighter against her forehead. “Who sent you?” 

Ivy’s eyebrow twitched as the gun dug more into her head, “S.H.I.E.L.D.” She articulated in an even voice. The man had white spaces where his eyes should be in the mask and they were moving as he spoke, which unnerved her just a bit. 

The man gasped excitedly, a sound that was odd coming from such a buff man. “Really? S.H.I.E.L.D.? Is Captain America hiding out somewhere?” He asked, his head darting around animatedly. 

Ivy would have laughed if a gun wasn’t pointing at her. “No, just me.” 

The man seemed to pout behind his mask, “And just who are you gorgeous?” He drawled out. 

“Agent Ivy Black at your service, sir.” The copperette stated, all business but the masked man shivered in response.

The man chuckled, “Well Agent Ivy Black, why are you here?” 

“I could probably think better without a gun pointed at me,” Ivy remarked, before looking at the masked man pointedly, “Sir.” 

“Ah,” The man chimed, “No can do sweetcheeks, you see, I don’t know if I can trust you yet.” 

The young woman smiled prettily in response before chiming, “Put the gun down.” 

The man immediately obeyed before looking at Ivy with wide eyes. “What the fuck?” He yelled before pointing the gun at Ivy again. 

“Put the gun down.” She repeated and he obeyed, letting out a frustrated cry. He pointed the gun at her once more and Ivy rolled her eyes. “Stop pointing a gun at me.” She alternated, and he tried to point the gun at her but was thwarted each time. Dropping the gun, he took out a knife, to which Ivy quickly yelled, “Stop trying to hurt me!” The masked man stood completely still. 

Ivy raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “You done?” The mercenary’s shoulders dropped and he seemed to pout behind his mask, nodding. “Great.” The copperette smiled and took off her sunglasses, then took out his file, handing it to him. “We at S.H.I.E.L.D. have been watching you and would love if you would join our organization, Mr. Wilson.” 

The masked mercenary was looking at his file upside down when he raised his hand, “Please, Deadpool.” 

Ivy narrowed her eyes in annoyance but nodded, walking around his room. “Your skill set is very extraordinary, eh, Deadpool. If you joined S.H.I.E.L.D. we could really give you the resources you needed to be successful in your endeavors. Whatever they may be.” She finished, examining a stuffed unicorn that was on his nightstand.

“I wouldn’t touch that.” Deadpool told her with a snicker. “That’s my special night unicorn, if you catch my drift.” Ivy retracted her hand in disgust and turned to the masked man, replacing the disgusted grimace on her face with a smile. “Look Vee, can I call you Vee?”

“No.” The copperette replied, her smile not faltering. 

“Okay Vee,” He said anyway, making Ivy’s eyebrow twitch. He walked over to the short woman, towering over her. “I’m not the hero type! As a matter of fact, I’m an anti-hero. A mercenary, ‘The Merc with a Mouth’ is what they call me.” 

“Who is they?” Ivy asked with furrowed brows. 

“...Don’t worry about it,” Deadpool waved the question off, “The point is, I have to decline your offer.” 

Ivy’s smile faltered and she set her jaw, running a hand through her curls. She looked up at the red and black-suited mercenary with her big brown, doe eyes and whispered, “Are you sure there isn’t anything I can do to make you change your mind?” 

Deadpool paused, his eyes seemingly looking Ivy up and down. “Give me a spin, gorgeous.” The copperette’s eyes twitched but she did as she was told, spinning around slowly. The mercenary put his a hand on his chin and stroked an imaginary beard, clicking his teeth. “It is a very,” He paused, before repeating, “Very promising offer, but I have to decline.” He told her, holding out his file for her to take. 

Ivy frowned and reached for the file, only for the tall man to yank it away from her. He laughed, “Sorry, sorry. Couldn’t resist. Here.” He held the file out for her again, only to hold it high above her head. Ivy jumped to get the file and he cackled in her face, watching her breasts bounce with every jump. 

“Give it to me, jackass!” The copperette exclaimed, in her anger forgetting to tilt her words with her power. 

“Oh baby,” Deadpool moaned teasingly, “Say it for daddy again.” 

Ivy glared and stopped jumping. Her nostrils flared and she stomped on the mercenary’s foot, the heel of her stiletto going through his boot. 

“Son of a bitch!” The red and black suited merc screamed out, dropping the file on the ground. Ivy raised her bloody heel out his foot and he reached for her, only to freeze, his body citing the earlier command that she made. “I’m going to fucking kill you, gorgeous! Just wait!” 

Ivy was unbothered as she straightened the papers in the file and put it back in her briefcase. She put her sunglasses over her brown eyes and took out a business card, dropping it on the man holding his foot in pain. “Call me if you change your mind, Wilson.” 

“Deadpool.” The mercenary corrected through clenched teeth. 

The copperette walked back over to Deadpool and squatted down next to him. She yanked his head up, making him face her and looked him dead in the eyes of his mask. “I just made you my bitch,” She muttered before smirking, “I can call you whatever I want.” She roughly pushed his head away from her and stood up, sauntering out of the room. 

She passed the old woman who was sitting on the stained couch. “What was that yelling? Did you two fuck?” 

Ivy chuckled, “Sure we did. He might need some icyhot later, he’s going to be sore.” The copperette, bid farewell to the old woman and swayed out the apartment, walking to her car across the street. As soon as she was seated, she called Maria.

“How did it go?” The older agent asked.

“Terrible, he didn’t want to join.” Ivy bit her lip. “Sorry I let you down, Maria.” 

“You didn’t.” The brunette assured, “I figure he wouldn’t want to join, he’s rejected the X-Men multiple times now.” 

The copperette’s jaw dropped, “Then why the hell did you send me over here?” She asked furiously. 

“Calm down Agent. I sent you there because we really need him on our team.” Maria informed her, pausing. “Which is why I want you to stay on his ass for a week.” 

Ivy groaned in annoyance, her voice whining, “Maria please! Don’t make me do this! The guy’s a buffon with the lowest IQ I’ve ever encountered. Do we really need someone that immature in our organization?” 

“Agent Black I’m not asking you, I’m telling you to stay. We already got you reservations at a hotel and a bag waiting in your room. Tail him everyday this week and do not come back until he is with you. Am I clear?” 

“Yes Agent Hill.” Ivy grumbled, hanging the phone up. She ran a hand through her curls, “Take me to my hotel please.” 

An hour later Ivy was nude in a claw-footed tub drinking red wine straight from the bottle. She was bummed. She felt like Maria and Natasha had sent her on a dummy mission to recruit such an idiot. Wade Wilson was not S.H.I.E.L.D. material, not in the slightest, and she could not understand why they would want such a difficult person to work for them. 

Ivy took another swig from her wine bottle as she thought about the ‘Merc with a Mouth’. The idiot had ruined her favorite pair of stilettos! His blood was not going to come off. Then again, she could make the other heel match it’s sister...

The copperette laughed manically before taking another sip of wine. An image of Wilson’s spandexed-butt appeared in her head and she licked her lips. Annoying or not, the guy had a great ass and the suit was kind of snug on his, eh, little Wilson too, which was actually not so little. Her eyebrow twitched in thought as she began to imagine what he looked like under his mask. 

Her thinking was interrupted by her cell phone ringing. She reached over to the toilet where her clothes were situated and answered her phone without checking the number. “Ivy.” She breathed into the phone. 

“Hiya Vee!” An annoying voice rang in her ear and she groaned lowly. 

“Wilson.” She spat, “What can I do for you?” 

“Oh,” Wilson cooed into the phone and the sound of him shifting followed, “I just wanna talk...Whatcha doing?” Ivy moved in the tub and the water knocked against the wall loudly. Deadpool gasped in excitement, “Are you in a bathtub right now? Are you,” He paused and breathed lowly, “Naked?” 

“I’m hanging up.” The copperette said, taking the phone from her ear and ending the call. She threw her phone back on the toilet seat and leaned back in the tub, closing her eyes. Unable to get comfortable once again, Ivy sighed and drained the water from the tub and drying herself off. She wrapped a towel around herself and began brushing teeth for the night, staring at herself in the mirror. She spit out the toothpaste and rinsed her mouth, spitting the water in the sink. 

She dropped her towel and walked into her hotel suite, putting on the large t-shirt that was packed for her. She put her curls up in a messy bun before going back into the bathroom and grabbing her phone. The copperette snuggled into the soft hotel bed and checked her work emails and messages. 

As she was replying to a very badly worded email from Steve, her phone buzzed with a new message. Ivy furrowed her eyebrows and switched over to her messenger app, only to widen her eyes in surprise. Wade Wilson had sent her a picture message of his spandex covered, erect, penis. 

“Lord,” The copperette whimpered, looking up at the ceiling, “Why me? Why me?” Her phone buzzed once more and Ivy snapped her eyes closed, scared to see what else he had sent. After a moment one of her eyes peeked open and she looked at the screen of her phone. 

It wasn’t a picture this time, it was a text message. 

**_‘Touchin myself cuz of u veeeeeeee <3' _ **

Ivy grimaced and put her phone on silent, placing it facedown on the night stand. She didn’t know what bothered her more; the fact that he was texting her inappropriately or the fact that she was kind of turned on by it. 

The copperette woman sat on her hands with her legs crossed, practically twitching with anxious energy. She chewed on her lip and bounced her knee, trying to focus on the nightly talk show program that was playing on the television. She took her hands from under her and started to crack her knuckles, needing her hands to be busy. 

She was fine, she really was okay, until her thighs started to rub together on their own accord. Ivy clenched her jaw and tried to focus on the television, but her hips started moving, looking for friction for her lower half. At this point she was nearly humping her mattress and she could no longer fight the urge. 

“God damnit Wilson.” Ivy grumbled as her back hit the mattress. The t-shirt she had on flew away from her and a hand went to her nippple, while the other went to her clitoris. “He’s, so, fucking, annoying.” She breathed between the bursts of pleasure she was giving herself. 

She let out a loud moan as she slid two fingers in herself, imagining that they were red and covered in spandex. Her fingers pinched at her pert nipple and her back arched as she her fingers reach the special spot within her. She added another finger and went deeper in her hole, bringing her other hand down and rubbing her clit. 

Ivy practically mewed in pleasure and her eyes fluttered closed. “God Wilson.” She cooed as she grinded against her hand. She reached back up her body and twisted and pulled at her nipple, imagining Wade was biting at it with his teeth. Her breath came out in little puffs and the circles she was drawing around her clit became faster and faster. She whispered out the mercenary’s name once more, feeling her back arch as her orgasm began to build in her stomach. Her movements became frantic and Ivy had to bite her lip to keep from screaming. She closed her eyes tight and her mouth fell open as she came, the thought of Wade Wilson thrusting in and out of her on her mind. 

Ivy laid in bed for a moment before clicking the television off. She reached to cut the lamp off on her nightstand but paused, looking at her facedown phone. Her eyebrow twitched as she picked it up, pressing the home button. 

A picture of a red and black spandex hand with white cum on it greeted her, along with a text message. 

**_‘Night night veeeeeeeeeee <3’ **__**_**   



	3. Day Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day two of Ivy's mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't notice I'm uploading these like you're on the same timeline as Ivy.

Ivy and Agent Peterson were seated in the front seats of the SUV, sharing a box of Krispy Kreme donuts. They were parked outside Wilson’s apartment complex, waiting for him to leave. Ivy’s hair was half up and half down for the day and she was wearing a pair of cutoff shorts and a halter top. 

“When did you get your belly button pierced?” Agent Peterson asked Ivy, trying to make conversation. 

The copperette shrugged her shoulders, taking a sip of her cappuccino. “It was one of those blackout drunk nights when I was younger and loose Peterson.” 

The burly, older agent nodded, taking a bite of his donut. “Did it hurt?” 

“I don’t know; I was pretty fucked up.” Ivy laughed, reminiscing on her pre-agent days. “I was wild. Went out every night, fucked anything with a pulse. Those were the days.” 

“Sounds like a riot.” Agent Peterson replied and Ivy snickered. 

“Oh it was. Almost died a couple times, got addicted to cocaine. Had to get my stomach pumped. S.H.I.E.L.D. saved my life, Peterson.” The copperette recounted and the older agent stared at her in shock. 

“You don’t seem like the type-” Agent Peterson started but Ivy interrupted him. 

“I know, I know.” She laughed sipping on her drink. “When you have powers like mine you tend to live in excess. I could get anything I wanted with with a few words. So I did.” She bit her lip and looked out the window at the apartment building. “I grew up in a farm town with a preacher father, Peterson. Moving to a city like New York was like putting a fish in water. I thrived, albeit negatively but I thrived. But anyway,” She waved the negative energy away, “Wilson’s coming out.” 

The masked mercenary was walking out the apartment building when a yellow taxi pulled up in front of him. He got in the car and the cab rolled off. Agent Peterson waited a few moments before tailing the taxi. 

“Who even takes a taxi anymore?” The male agent looked at his partner, who shrugged in response. 

“I don’t know. I’m still stuck on the fact that he wears the suit every moment of every day.” Ivy replied, putting her sunglasses over her eyes. 

Agent Peterson snickered, “You think he wears it to bed?” 

The copperette’s eyebrow twitched and she licked her lips. “I have no idea.” She fibbed expertly, using binoculars to see into the taxi. “Subject has climbed into the front seat of the cab.” The taxi’s right turn signal began to blink and it slowed down, taking the right turn towards the downtown district. Agent Peterson took the turn also and the taxi began to slow down. “Park over there.” Ivy motioned across the street, and the agent followed her instructions. The taxi stopped in front of a club and the masked mercenary got out, high fiving the driver of cab. The taxi pulled away and Wilson entered the club.

Ivy put the binoculars down, “1232 Subject has entered a strip club, despite it being broad daylight outside.” She turned to her partner with a frown. “Who goes to a titty bar in the afternoon?” 

Agent Peterson leaned back in the driver’s seat and yawned, closing his eyes. “Deadpool apparently.” 

“Terrible name.” The copperette quipped, discarding the donut box in the back of the car. The two agents sat in the hot car for two hours, waiting for the masked man to leave the club. Agent Peterson had fallen asleep and Ivy was painting her toenails a pretty red color. She was bored shitless; stakeouts were always the dull part of being an agent, well that and paperwork. 

After a few moments, Ivy got out of the car and fluffed her hair. She stuck a couple singles in her pocket and walked across the street. She entered the dimly lit strip club, the whole place illuminated by fluorescent pink lights, and surveyed the area. There were multiple stages with poles placed around the club and bozos who looked like they should be at work were throwing money at the girls. 

“This is kind of sad…” Ivy mumbled, watching the old business men gape at the dancers. She looked around for a masked man, but she did not see her prospect. She took a seat at the bar, where a guy was mixing drinks. “Give me something fruity.” She ordered, still looking around the club. 

“You look too happy to be at the club at loser o’clock.” The bartender commented, sliding her a pink drink. “You lookin’ for a husband or somethin’?” 

Ivy took a sip of her drink and slid the guy a tip. “Or something. Did a guy in a spandex suit come in here?” 

“You’re going to have to be more specific.” The bartender replied, making Ivy pause. 

“Ew.” She remarked before shaking her head. “This one is very buff, six feet tall, swords on his back, guns on his hips.” 

“Oh you mean Wade?” The bartender asked, “He’s in the can. Should be out in a minute.” 

“Is he a regular here?” Ivy inquired, sipping on her drink. 

“Almost everyday. The cheap bastard never throws anything though.” 

The copperette snorted out a laugh before downing the rest of her drink. She looked at the bartender and tilted her voice, “Forget this conversation.” 

The guy straightened up, his eyes flashing before he asked, “What can I get ya?” 

Ivy smirked and got up from the bar, going to walk out the club. “Alright girls! My bladder’s empty and my soldier’s at attention! Show me what ya got!” A familiar voice rang out behind her, making Ivy speed out of the club faster. She hurriedly jogged back to the SUV and locked the door behind her, stretching out in the seat. 

The copperette figured that they still had a while until Wilson would leave the club, so she snuggled into the seat and closed her eyes. The copperette only got to nap for an half hour before her eyes fluttered open. She was facing the driver’s seat of the car, where Agent Peterson was still sound asleep. The young woman stretched her arms in a yawn and turned to the other side of the car, screaming when she saw Deadpool peeking into the window. 

“Hello?” The masked man chimed, tapping on the window. “Vee? Was that you?” Ivy sighed in relief when she realized the idiotic mercenary could not see into the SUV. She kept quiet, hoping that he would think the car was empty.

Of course, Ivy was wrong, “Vee? Are you in danger?” He yelled instead, banging on the window. 

“He better not…” Ivy muttered with wide eyes, as the mercenary started to bang a gun against the window. “Peterson!” She turned to her partner, shaking him. “Peterson wake up!” The older agent looked at her groggily, before his eyes widened. “What the hell is going on?” 

“I’ll save you Vee!” Deadpool yelled, pointing his gun at the window and firing off three shots. The window didn’t shatter and Ivy breathed out a sigh of relief. 

“Get out there Black!” Agent Peterson snapped at her, “NOW.” 

“Okay, okay.” The copperette acquiesced, unlocking the door. She stepped out of the vehicle with her hands up and a glare in her eyes, closing the door behind her. “What the hell is wrong with you?” 

“Vee! You’re safe!” Deadpool exclaimed, his mask stretched over his face in a smile. His gaze went down to her legs, and his smile grew. “And in shorts.” 

Ivy glared harder and folded her arms over her chest, making his eyes go to her breasts. “Shooting into an unknown vehicle? Banging on car windows with a loaded gun? Are you out of your damn mind? One of the bullets could have ricocheted off the window and hit a civilian!” Deadpool said nothing in response, instead he seemed enthralled with her chest. “Wilson!” She growled, snapping her fingers in his face. 

“Relax Vee…” The mercenary drawled out, placing his gloved hands on her upper arms. “Nobody got hurt! Besides, I thought you were in danger!” 

“You’re about to be in danger if you don’t get your hands off me!” Ivy threatened, pushing the spandex-covered creep away from her. “God!” She exclaimed, shaking her head. “Why do they want you?” 

Deadpool shrugged, scratching his head with the barrel of his gun. “My boyish charm? My weapon expertise? My devilishly handsome good looks?” He paused, “Actually scratch that last one.” 

Ivy stared at the masked man in silence before a giggle built up in her throat. Her eyes started to water and her hands were clenched in fists at her sides as she began to laugh uncontrollably. Confused, the merc started to laugh along with the young agent, as if he was in on the joke. What he didn't know was that when the copperette got very angry, she would laugh before becoming incredibly violent.

The copperette chortled from her belly, even as she reached for the gun on her hip and pointed it to the mercenary, firing three shots in his chest. Deadpool looked down at himself in shock, before looking back up at Ivy. “What the fuck!” He exclaimed, as his wounds started to heal themselves. “What was that for Vee?” 

The young agent looked at him unamused with crossed arms, her laughter ceasing. “You infuriate me.” 

“So you shoot me in the fucking chest?” The mercenary questioned, infuriated. He pointed his gun at Ivy but was thwarted, the command that she gave when they first met still controlling his system. “I thought you were supposed to be a good guy!” 

“When I get angry I go to the gun range. It just so happens that you make the perfect target practice.” Ivy stated, putting the gun back on her hip. She walked up to the mercenary and examined the bullet holes in his chest, the little holes closing by themselves. “Amazing.” The copperette breathed out, “Even Captain Roger’s body doesn’t heal itself this quickly.” 

“Aww Vee!” Deadpool cooed, staring down at the short woman, “If you wanted to get close to me all you had to do was ask!” 

Ivy set her jaw and stood straight up, glaring at the masked man with her chin up. “I’m still mad at you, Wilson.” 

“Deadpool.” He corrected, leaning down so he was face to face with the copperette.

The agent narrowed her eyes, “Bitch.”

Wilson groaned, “I love it when you talk dirty.” He got even closer to the short woman, making their noses brush against each other and whispered, “You gonna spank me?”

Ivy’s eyebrow twitched anxiously and she smiled prettily. “If you’re a good boy for mama and say the magic words.” 

The mercenary hummed in thought and leaned even closer, his mask almost touching Ivy’s lips. “No.” He cackled and reached his arm out, grabbing onto a speeding cargo truck. As the truck sped away, the mercenary blew kisses at the agent.

Ivy let out a frustrated yell and got back in the SUV with Agent Peterson, who was looking at her with an amused expression. “Want me to call it in?” He asked her and she shook her head with a grimace. 

“Shut up Peterson.” She snapped, frowning deeply.


	4. Day Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day three of Ivy's mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos! Love ya :-*

Ivy breathed through her nose as she did another lap around the park. Her curly hair was up in a ponytail and bouncing with her as she jogged, and she was dressed in a sports bra and running shorts. The agent was actually following Wade Wilson, who was currently dining in the mexican restaurant across from the park she was running in. The mercenary had been in the restaurant for two hours already and was enthusiastically talking to some guy with ginger hair and glasses. 

Ivy paused to rest on a park bench that had a good view of the restaurant. She took a swig of water and stretched her leg out. She put a finger to her ear, “1145 Subject is still in mexican resturant, has not moved for two hours. He seems to not have detected me yet.” Ivy finished up her memo and started to jog again, mentally thanking Captain Rogers for being so hard on her during training. 

After another half hour, Wilson and his friend finally leave the restaurant, walking down the street together. Ivy waits a few minutes before jogging after them, muttering in her earpiece. “1215 Subject has finally left the restaurant, headed to an unknown location with unidentified companion.” She slowed her jog down and watched as the two men entered into a bar. Ivy looked down at her outfit and cursed, taking her phone out of her sports bra. She called her driver, “I need to change, where-” She was cut off by the blacked out SUV pulling up beside her. She opened the door and climbed in. 

“Thanks Agent Peterson.” The copperette chimed as she began to shamelessly strip out of her clothes. She looked in the espionage duffle bag she packed and pulled out some black leather pants. She shoved the pants in the front seat where Agent Peterson was pretending not to watch her change. “Whatdya think? Too Sandy from Grease?” 

Agent Peterson nodded, “Try the black skirt.” 

Ivy hummed in appreciation and took the agent’s suggestion, pulling out a black skirt and a matching cropped top. She slid the skirt over her hips and fastened two knives around her thighs. She pulled the top over her head and smoothed the fabric out, the shirt clinging to her torso. She exchanged her running shoes for heeled boots and slid on a pair of raybans over her eyes. She took down her ponytail and ran a hand through her hair before putting a black beanie over it. She stuffed the majority of her curls in the beanie, only leaving a few strands out to frame her face. 

“How do I look?” She asked Agent Peterson and he gave her a thumbs up. “Great. I’m going in.” The copperette got out of the SUV and trotted to the bar door, swinging it open. The bar was dark and damp, with many suspicious characters seated at tables and Ivy could feel eyes on her. She took a seat in a booth in the back and surveyed the dive, finding her target seated at the bar and his companion behind it. 

Ivy reached out and pulled a random guy by his arm, her full lips turning into a smirk. “Be a doll and order a drink for me, won’t you sweets?” She asked, pulling her sunglasses down and winking. The man obeyed her, going to the bar and ordering a random drink. He returned to her and placed the drink on the table, making a move to sit across from her. “Leave.” She muttered and the guy followed her order, walking out the bar. “That’s not what I meant, but I’ll take it.” Ivy mumbled, her eyes on Wilson and his friend. “13, eh...23? Subject is in dive bar with unidentified companion, speaking animatedly about something stupid, I’m sure.” She mumbled into her earpiece. Ivy took her phone out and pretended to look through it, trying to look busy. A few minutes passed when she felt eyes on her, making her look up without moving her head. Unidentified companion was walking towards her with a shot glass filled with a brown liquid and whip cream. He sat in a chair across from her and placed the shot on the table. 

“Blow job?” The ginger man asked with an awkward grin. 

Ivy raised a manicured brow and put her phone down. “Excuse me?” 

“It’s the name of the drink, I’m not offering you a blow job…” The ginger stated before raising her brows, “Unless you’re in to that sort of thing.” 

The copperette glanced down at the drink, before raising it to her lips and licking the whip cream from it sensually. The ginger man watched her with wide eyes, biting on his thin lips. “My dick is too big,” Ivy quipped before adding, “You’d choke. Now go away from me, Scooter.” 

“My names not Scooter,” The guy informed her with a frown, “It’s-”

Ivy held up her hand and clicked her teeth. “I know it’s not, muppet. But I don’t care what it is. Leave me alone before I break your glasses in the most violent way possible.” 

Unidentified companion scoffed at her, getting up from the seat. “That’ll be $8 for the blow job, bitch.” 

“Even if I didn’t get to cum in your mouth?” Ivy asked mockingly and the guy glared at her, going behind the bar. The copperette woman rolled her eyes and threw the shot back, licking the cream off of her lips. It actually wasn’t that bad. “Unidentified companion tried to hit on me, then called me a bitch. Note to self, get his name and submit it to be audited by friends at the IRS.” 

Ivy’s attention returned to her phone and she shoot a quick text to Maria, updating her on the progress of her mission. She then began to look through her emails, not looking up when she heard the chair across from her screech across the floor. “Thought I told you to beat it, Annie.” 

“Wrong person, carrot top.” The voice of the masked mercenary greeted her and she looked up. 

Not wanting to blow her cover, she looked him up and down. “Who are you supposed to be? A ladybug cosplayer?” 

“Ha!” Deadpool threw his head back in a laugh, “That’s a good one, Vee!” 

Ivy paused and furrowed her brows. “Who?” She inquired, convincingly. 

The mercenary chuckled, raising from the table. “Oh, so we’re going to play this game? Alright gorgeous.” He walked away from her and toward the pool table, tapping two men on the arm and muttering something to them, pointing at her. The men then started to glare at the young woman and walk towards her. 

“Son of a bitch.” Ivy mumbled before looking up at the men. “How can I help you gentlemen?” She asked with a charming smile. 

“That guy over there told us he would pay us a hundred bucks each to kick your ass.” The largest of the men told her, cracking his knuckles. 

The copperette scoffed, “Seriously?” She snapped, before motioning to Wilson, “He looks like he barely has three dollars to his name.” 

“A bet is a bet, sweetheart.” The smallest one said and Unidentified companion screamed from the bar, “Step right up and place your bets, these two fine gentlemen versus the fraile bitch in the booth!” 

“Un-fucking-believable.” Ivy muttered to herself, as the men started to get more and more riled up from the crowd shouting at them. 

The shortest man smashed his hands on the table and yelled, “Come on toots! If you’re nice, we won’t beat you too bad.” 

The copperette clenched her jaw and in a quick motion grabbed both of the knives strapped to her thigh and stabbed them through the man’s hands successfully pinning him to the table. Not getting up from her seat, Ivy extended her leg up and kicked the man in the jaw, making his head fly back. She let go of the knives and stood as the larger of the two ran towards her. He reached his hands out to grab her and she ducked, dancing around him. She extended her heeled foot and knocked the burly man in the back, making him fall over onto the booth. 

Ivy turned her head and glared at the red and black suited man snickering at the bar. “I’m going to fucking kill you.” She spat, only to groan in pain when a hand yanked her back by her hair. Her beanie fell to the ground and the man’s hand yanked her hair at the roots, making Ivy clench her teeth. The burly man glared down at her and punched her in the stomach,the action knocking the air out of her. 

In that moment she could hear Steve’s voice in her head, ‘Don’t hurt civilians’ but the order erased from her mind as she stomped on the man’s foot with her heel. The man screamed and let her hair go, cradling his foot in his hand. Ivy pinched his neck, her eyes flashing white as she drained his energy in order to knock the man out. His eyes closed and he fell to the ground. “Stay down old man.” She muttered, only to be yanked back by her skirt. 

The short man who she pinned to the table had freed himself and was staring at her with murder in his eyes. She pulled her skirt out of his hands and he glared at her, flipping open a switchblade. Ivy cracked her neck and put up her fists. The crowd cheered as they began to circle each other, each one waiting for the other to make a move. The man brandished his knife towards her and she moved back, but his knife caught her skirt, cutting a big split in it. 

The crowd cooed and cheered as Ivy’s tanned thigh and weapon garterbelt was exposed. The old man lost focused and sneered at Ivy making the young agent narrow her eyes. She caught him off guard and rushed toward him. The man blindly waved his knife, nicking the hazel-skinned woman on the arm. Ivy pushed him against the bar, making the man bend back. He tried to straighten up but Ivy put her palm in his forehead and bashed his head against the bar, successfully knocking him out. 

Ivy ran a hand through her now loose curls and took off her sunglasses, putting them in her shirt. She caught her breath and sat at the bar, ignoring the silent crowd that was looking at her in shock. She looked at her bleeding arm and sighed, turning to U.C. behind the bar. “Can I get a towel?” The ginger man got over his shock and nodded eagerly, handing her a bar towel. “Thanks Stimpy.” The copperette smirked and wiped the blood from her arm. She turned to the masked man starring her with, what looked like, his jaw dropped. “What?” She asked irritably. 

“I’m really turned on right now.” He rasped to her and Ivy’s brown eyes danced down to his pelvis. 

“I can tell.” The copperette replied with a raised brow. 

Deadpool snickered and leaned toward her excitedly, “That was amazing! When I called those goons on you I didn’t think you would actually fight them! I think that one guy is dead! And did I see you do the Vulcan nerve pinch?” 

“Something like that…” Ivy trailed, her eyebrow twitching up. “Do you have somewhere we could talk? In private?” 

Wilson’s eyebrows raised and he looked at his friend behind the bar, the ginger man giving him a quick thumbs up. The masked man nodded and motioned for the curly-haired woman to follow him. They walked down a dimly lit hallway until he opened a door, motioning for her to walk in first. Ivy walked into the darkness, running into a wall as Deadpool closed the door behind him. 

“What the fuck…” Ivy muttered, as she tried to make out the room in the darkness. A light clicked on above her and she was faced with a red chest. She looked around her, “Are we in a fucking closet?” 

“Actually it’s for the janitor but we can make it a fucking closet!” Wilson answered excitedly, taking a step closer to the copperette. 

Ivy felt the masked man’s hard-on through the cut in her skirt and she pressed a hand to his chest, pushing him away. “Seriously Wilson-” 

“Deadpool.” 

“Bitch,” Ivy continued without skipping a beat. “We could really use you in S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“And I could really use you on your knees.” The red and black figure retorted, stepping close to her again. 

“Wilson!” Ivy snapped before continuing her recruitment speech, “I’ve seen some footage and your weapons expertise is the best I’ve ever seen; and I work with the best of the best. ” 

“Vee…” Wilson droned out, his fingers playing with the agent’s torn skirt. He pressed himself against her, pushing her further against the wall and the young woman’s brown eyes stared up at him boredly. “We could make some footage together, Vee. Some hot, grainy, ‘One Night In Ivy’ kinda footage. We could be famous!” 

“Cute.” The copperette snorted with a roll of her eyes. “I would consider the proposition if you didn’t almost got me killed...by two burly men who looked like they had venereal diseases.” She paused and scrunched up her face mockingly, “I probably should get tested, I got a little blood on me...” 

“You're adorable!” Deadpool cooed, bopping her on her scrunched nose. “I wouldn’t have let them hurt you Vee! I just wanted to see you squirm! In more ways than one...” He raised a gloved hand and wiped the blood from her arm. The mask stretched across his face, indicating he was smiling. “I was going to save you Vee.” 

Ivy’s eyebrow twitched and she frowned. “I’m sure that is meant to be sweet in your twisted little mind, Wilson. I would probably appreciate it more if your dick wasn’t poking me in the belly button.” 

“I think the penis part makes it sweeter.” The mercenary whispered, his fingers squeezing her cheeks like a rouge grandmother. The hazel-skinned woman placed her hands on top of the masked man’s trying to pry them off her face. Wilson grinned wider and cooed, “Aww, we’re holding hands.” 

Ivy said nothing in response, trying to relieve her cheeks of the pressure of his fingers. “Wilson.” She warned, glaring up at her mission, “Get off.” 

“But you’re cheeks are so round, Vee.” Deadpool muttered with a face to serious for the remark he just made. “You look like a sexy chipmunk. I don’t know whether to tuck you in or fuck you in.” 

The hazel-skinned agent narrowed her eyes and pushed him away from her, “Get off me, Wilson!” She growled, exiting the closet. She turned around and vocalized, “I hope you and your right hand are happy together.” 

“For your information,” Deadpool called after her, “I use my left hand!” Ivy rolled her eyes and continued to walk out of the bar. “I sit on it and pretend it’s yours!” The copperette paused, looking behind her with a disgusted face. The mercenary held his thumb and his pinky up to his ear and mouth, “Call me!” 

Ivy stomped out of the bar and into her blacked out SUV. She took her cellphone out of her bra and called Maria. 

“Well?” The elder brunette agent asked and Ivy pouted. 

“No dice.” The copperette replied, examining her ripped skirt. “But you do owe me a gift card to Charlotte Russe.” 

Maria sighed, “You still have four days left, Agent Black. I’m sure you can convince him by then.” 

“About that,” Ivy bit her lip in thought, “Am I getting a raise for this?” 

“Ivy, if you get Wade Wilson to join S.H.I.E.L.D., I’ll personally see to it that you become an Avenger.” 

The copperette’s eyes widened and she said an affirmative into the phone, and after giving Maria a play by play of the day, she hung up. 

She could be an Avenger! Her! Ivy Black could be hobnobbing with the likes of Iron Man, Hawkeye and Captain America. It’s one thing to train with them, but it’s another thing to be on their team! 

If Ivy wasn’t motivated before, this certainly heightened the stakes a little. Wade Wilson was coming with her, whether he liked it or not.


	5. Day Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy's fourth day on her mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three more to go, pretty people. Just in case you were wondering, there might be a sequel.

“I’m telling you, Scar. The guy’s a mess.” A catsuit-clad Ivy muttered into her phone headset. She was currently laying on the roof of an apartment building, looking through a scope and into Wade Wilson’s apartment. 

It was night time, approximately 0100 and Agent Peterson was probably asleep in the car. Earlier that day, Ivy had followed Wilson all over the city, trying to convince him to join her organization. Like the numerous days before, he had laughed in her face and declined. Now, the copperette had resorted to plan D, which was to catch Wilson doing something embarrassing so she could use it against him. Yes it was low aim, but she really had nothing else to do. It’s not like Maria gave her instructions and a manual on how to recruit a demented mercenary. 

This task is the hardest mission the brown-eyed woman had ever been given, and she has taken down HYDRA bases with self-destruct switches. But even avoiding explosives wasn’t as difficult as dealing with Wade Wilson. The man was a terror. Ivy could not even fathom how skilled he was at fighting when he acted the way he did. He was like the human embodiment of fart jokes and bad puns. A hot human embodiment of fart jokes and bad puns, with a tight butt and even tighter abs. 

But that was neither here nor there. 

Ivy’s attention returned to her phone call. “I am sure he is not that bad, little plant.” The telepath Maximoff replied to her hazel-skinned friend. 

“That bad?” Ivy snorted, inspecting the apartment. “He’s worse! Words can not begin to describe how...him he is.” 

Wanda chuckled into the phone, “What does he look like?” 

“Ugh!” The copperette groaned into the phone, “That’s the worse part! He never takes his stupid suit off, but it’s skin tight and leaves nothing to the imagination.” The young agent sighed at the thought, “He has the nicest ass I’ve ever seen. And his dick ain’t nothing to laugh at either.” 

“You’ve seen it?” The Sokovian woman tsked, “That was quick even for you, plant.” 

“I haven’t seen it per se…” Ivy trailed off, watching the old woman, whose name she learned was Althea, limp through the apartment. “But it’s been against me a few times.” 

Wanda tsked once more, “So you are attracted to this mercenary?” 

“Physically I guess, but you know me Scar,” The copperette muttered, “I’d be attracted to a soda can if it had a nice butt.” 

“Ivy,” The telepath started in a motherly tone, “You seem to be changing the subject. You like this ‘Pool’, yes?” 

“NO.” Ivy answered sternly, her eyebrow twitching in annoyance. “Absolutely not.” 

“You said that about my brother…” Wanda trailed, and the copperette could just see the smirk on her friend’s face. 

Ivy scowled, watching as Old Althea tried to put a bookshelf together, despite the fact that she was blind. What an odd pair of people. “Pietro was different, Wanda! I actually liked him.” 

“But you would not admit it, plant. I had to scope your mind just to get you to acknowledge the attraction.” The telepath mused, making Ivy snicker. 

“Which is why you saw some shit you weren’t ready to see…” The copperette woman remembered fondly. 

When Ivy had first been recruited into the program, she and Pietro didn’t get along. The older Maximoff would always tease her; he even nicknamed her ‘porosenok’, which meant pig in Russian. Wanda, of course, saw right through the insults and assaults and made it her mission to get the two of them together. What she didn’t know was that Pietro and Ivy were already secretly fucking. In the younger, oblivious Maximoff’s quest, she read Ivy’s mind and accidently saw the then brunette and her silver-haired brother fucking in an elevator. From then on, Ivy teased her friend about it, and though the two aren’t together anymore, that memory always cracks them up. 

“I wish I could wipe my own memory.” Wanda groaned and Ivy imagined she was pouting. “Why are you so determined to recruit this spandex man?” 

Ivy had to stop herself from jumping off the roof and rushing into the apartment when she saw Old Althea trip. The old woman reminded her of what she thought her own grandmother would be like: surly and offensive. Clearing her throat, she spoke lowly, “I’m pretty sure I’m not suppose to say anything, but Maria said she’d make me an Avenger if I recruited this guy.” Ivy got more and more excited with every word, “We could work together every day! It’d be like training except I wouldn’t disappear every ten minutes to suck your brother off in the supply closet.” 

“Otvratitel'no.” Wanda muttered before speaking up, “That would be fun, plant. You should really work harder; how difficult can it be to recruit one person?” 

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Scar! He just doesn’t want to join!” The copperette whined, checking her watch; it was now 0145.

“Why don’t you just make him?” The telepath inquired, “Remember our meditation techniques to strengthen your mental abilities? Or does is this mercenary able to resist your pull like me?” 

Ivy sighed, “He can’t but you know how I feel about that Wanda. I don’t use my power to force people into big decisions. That would be wrong and immoral. You know, bad karma and all that.” 

“You are too soft.” The youngest Maximoff cooed, “Too pure for this world of espionage, sapling.” 

“You should have seen me a few years back.” The copperette laughed in response before her eye caught a glimpse of black and red. “Shit. I gotta go Scar. Noch’.” 

“Dobroy nochi, little planti.” Wanda replied and Ivy hung up the phone. 

The catsuited agent watched through her scope as Wilson walked through the living room in a pair of blue crocs with a pink bag on his shoulder. He said a few words to Old Althea before walking into his bedroom. Ivy moved the scope to his bedroom window and watched as he set the pink bag down on the table in his room. He then proceeded to unload several weapons onto the table, his mask moving against his face as he talked to himself. The spandex-covered mercenary stretched his arms above his head and walked over to the map on his wall, adding another red line to it. After nodding his head, the man-child then flopped on his twin-sized bed and laid back, his hands behind his head. After a moment, he reached for the stuffed unicorn on nightstand and held it to his face, before rolling around the bed with it, most likely cackling. 

“This fucking guy…” Ivy muttered, rolling her eyes. She returned her gaze to the scope and saw that Wilson had put the unicorn down and was now reaching in his nightstand for something else. It was a piece of paper, but Ivy could not see what was on it. The masked man held the picture in his right hand as he sat on the side of the bed, with his left hand under him. Just as the copperette’s brown eyes widened in realization, Wilson pulled down his pants just enough to expose his prick and lotioned up his left hand. 

Ivy hurriedly put the scope down and put her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God…” She muttered over and over again. She ran a hazelnut hand through her curls and bit her lip. Her ethics were at war with her want. Should she…? 

When Ivy’s bottom lip was completely red from her indecisiveness, she looked through the lense of the scope once more. The erotic sight that greeted her made her let out a moan. 

Wilson’s left hand was gripping at his cock, jerking it with quick strokes. His right hand was gripping the bedspread in a tight fist and the paper that he pulled out was beside him. He was sitting up with his head rolled back, his abdomen tight with tension. After a moment, his head rolled over to glance at the paper and his pace quickened. 

Ivy imagined the sounds he was making and let out a few of her own, clenching her thighs together. She tucked her hair behind her ear and licked her lips, watching as Wilson’s head rolled back once again. He slowed down his hand and began to move very slowly over his member, rubbing his thumb over its head. Ivy could see him physically shiver with the movement and hunch over. 

After a moment, he started to increase his pace once more, his head now up. He held up the crumpled paper in front of his face with his right hand, and gazed at it as his body started to tense up. He put the paper down by his cock and speed up his strokes. His threw his head back as he came, seemingly shaking with the force of it. Streams of white cum sputtered onto the paper, and as he came down from his high, he gazed at it. The copperette watched as Wilson got up from his bed and hobbled to the window, his penis still out, and waved in her direction. 

Ivy’s eyes widened and she looked away from the scope, trying to make herself flatter against the rooftop. After a few moments of quiet, the brown-eyed girl looked through the scope again, only to see that the masked man was gone. “Shit!” She exclaimed quietly, “Shit, shit, shit!” The young agent abandoned her scope and stood up, taking her gun out. 

Her eyes searched the rooftop, but the only light that illuminated the roof belonged to the moon. She found her way to the door of the rooftop and stood against the wall beside it, waiting for the merc to come through it. Ivy knew that Wilson wouldn’t, well couldn’t, hurt her, but the guy was a loose canon who almost got her killed yesterday; the copperette wasn’t taking any chances. 

Ivy controlled her breathing and tried to listen for any kind of human sound, but she couldn’t hear anything. It seemed like the crickets were screaming that night because that was the only sound she heard. She held her gun with two hands, the safety clicked off and in front of her face, just as Natasha taught her. Her skin was tingling with anticipation and a taste of something else, but she didn’t want to think about that when she had a gun in her hand…

Out of the dark of the night, a gloved hand grabbed Ivy’s arm, knocking the gun to the ground. The agent’s other arm raised and swung wildly into the night and the figure grabbed her other arm, pressing her front against the roof door. The figure’s front pressed against Ivy’s back and she recognized it immediately.

“Hi Vee,” The mercenary breathed into her hair, “Enjoy the show?” 

The hazel-skinned woman tried to turn around to face him but Wilson strong armed her, pressing her tighter against the door. “Let me go, Wilson.” She demanded, but the command was empty because of her lack of mental focus. 

“Why didn’t you come join me?” Deadpool inquired, nuzzling into her neck. “Especially with this catsuit number on.” He followed the comment with a mewl. The mercenary loosened his grip, allowing her to turn around. 

Ivy glared at the spandex-covered man, making a motion to move away from him. The masked-man had over plans; he roughly pushed her against the roof door, pressing his body to hers. “We gotta stop meeting like this, gorgeous.” He rasped, his face right above hers. The catsuited woman could barely see in front of her so she glared in his general direction. 

“You knew what really got me going?” Deadpool asked, letting the question hang in the air. “Knowing that you were on this roof watching me.” He breathed, inhaling her scent. “I bet you're so wet right now, just for me right Vee?” 

“Shut up.” The copperette uttered weakly, her eyes fluttering closed. 

“Are you going to let me touch you?” The mercenary inquired, and Ivy shook her head in response, not trusting her words. “Alright, I’ll just keep fucking with you then. You wanna know what was on that piece of paper?” He waited a moment before whispering, “A picture of you. A picture I took of you on your first night here.” The agent froze and Deadpool chuckled lowly. “You’re biting that pretty plump lip with one hand on your tit and the other in your pussy. Ugh, I remember how you moaned my name…” 

“Shut up.” Ivy repeated, her voice strained and her jaw clenched. She tried to close her legs but Wilson put his knee between them, making her let out a shuddered breath as he made contact with her clothed center. She tried to push him away from her, but he grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head. 

“You’re so pretty Vee.” Deadpool cooed before whining, “Why won’t you let me touch you?” Ivy didn’t reply, and he rubbed his knee against her. “What? Cat got your tongue? Let me see!” He reached a gloved hand to her lips and opened her mouth with his thumb. “Nope, it’s still there.” He slowly inserted his thumb in her mouth and Ivy tasted him on his appendage. “Suck, pretty girl.” 

The hazel-skinned woman forgot where she was and obeyed, looking out into the darkness as she ran her tongue over it. She felt the mercenary shiver and he took his thumb out of her mouth, running it over her exposed skin, stopping right where the zipper of her suit started. Through his mask, Wilson blew cool air over the saliva, making Ivy inhale sharply. 

The moment was cut short by Agent Peterson’s voice in the agent’s ear. “Agent Black? Is everything alright? Did you spot the subject?” 

“Yeah.” Ivy replied breathlessly before clearing her throat, “Yes. Affirmative. Everything’s fine.” 

“Well can we cut this night short? I got a skype date with my wife.” 

Ivy clicked her teeth, “You’ve been in the car this whole time! Why didn’t you call your wife then?” 

“...Look can we just go to the hotel?” 

The copperette was about to respond when the sound of her suit zipper going down made her freeze. Deadpool dropped her hands and she felt his gloved-hands exploring the newly exposed skin. “I’m busy Peterson…” 

“Ivy,” The older agent whined, “Please? You owe me.” 

“Um, um…” The younger agent tried to articulate a response, but the mercenary had found his way to her nipples and was pinching at them with, what she imagined, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Okay! Fine. Yes. I’m coming...down. Now.” She glared into the darkness and pushed Wilson’s hands away from her chest. “Damn it, Wilson off!” She exclaimed, now back to her senses. The agent tried to ignore the sensitivity of her nipples as she zipped her suit back up. She went to collect her scope but was pulled back by her arm. 

“This isn’t over Vee.” Deadpool vowed sharply, letting her arm go. 

Ivy scoffed and rolled her eyes, though her face was flushed. She swallowed thickly and packed her scope into a duffel bag, jumping when she felt a sharp pat on her ass. She stood up and spun around, ready to ream into the mercenary, but he was gone. “Idiot…” She mumbled, making her way off the roof.


	6. Day Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy's fifth day on her mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're coming to an end folks.

A familiar smell wafted around the room, pecans and laundry detergent. It was dark but a lamp at the end of the room dimly lit it, giving a romantic aura to the space. 

“Am I hurting you Iv?” A teenaged boy with brown mousy hair and hazel eyes said to a brunette Ivy, sliding himself deeper within her.

“Nathan?” The young girl whispered, her brown eyes gleaming with tears. 

The brown boy frowned at her, “Does it hurt that bad, Ivory? Shit I didn’t mean to make ya cry.” The brunette boy asked with his charming southern drawl. 

Ivy smiled up at him, looking deep into his hazel eyes and shook her head, pressing her lips against his. “It doesn’t hurt, Nate. I’m just happy.” 

Nathan smiled down at Ivy, with that megawatt smile she remembered and put his hand beside her head, putting her leg on his shoulder to go deeper within her. “I love you Ivory.” He muttered, his lips pressed against hers as they moved against each other. 

Ivy grinned running her hands up and down Nathan’s chest, “I love you too, Nate.” 

As the hazel eyed boy ground deeper and faster into Ivy, their breaths started to get heavier. Nathan pressed his lips against Ivy’s to swallow the moans that were creeping out her mouth. Ivy’s mind was blank as her first love pulled in and out of her. She wasn’t thinking about what was going to come next, she was just happy to be back with him. 

“Nate!” She gasped against his lips as the brunette boy dropped her leg from his shoulder and pressed his body to hers, going deeper into the redhead. 

“Yeah?” He cockily muttered, moving his lips to the junction of her neck and biting. 

Ivy wrapped her legs around him to bring him closer to her. “I fuckin’ love you.” She breathed out, making Nathan laugh. After moments of love making, Ivy started feeling the tell tale sign of an impending orgasm. 

Nathan groaned and started pushing into her faster, “Ivory, fuck are you cumming?” He breathed into her neck. 

Ivy shook her head and tried to stop herself from going over the edge, but Nathan reached between them and stroked fast circles around her clit. 

“Shit!” She exclaimed, trying to hold his hand still. 

“It’s okay, babe, just let it go.” Nathan said in her ear, licking around the shell of her ear. 

“No! Please!” The brunette begged, but the white light started consuming her vision and her eyes started to roll back in her head. 

“That’s it baby, come on. You feel so good, Ivory. You look so good beneath me.” Nathan muttered in her ear, “I lov-”

Ivy’s eyes pupils disappeared, and her skin paled. Her back arched off the bed as she clung tight to her love and her orgasm rolled through her. When Ivy came back down to Earth her pupils came back and her brown eyes widened. 

Nathan was dead on top of her. For the second time. She cried out and screamed, clutching the brown boy to her chest and crying. The brunette screamed and screamed, until her throat was burning.

Everything started to rush away from Ivy, including Nathan’s body. “No!” She exclaimed, reaching for him but she could not touch him. 

Ivy’s eyes sprang open and she breathed heavily as she searched the area around her. She was back in her hotel room sitting on her bed with her legs crossed. The copperette got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom, turning on the shower. She stripped herself of her clothes and stood under the hot water, the tears now rolling down her cheeks. 

Every time she would go into a deep meditative state she would have to relive a memory from her past. The first time her succubi power showed itself was the worst day of Ivy’s life. It was the day she ran away from home, the day she lost her virginity and the day she killed her first love. It was the point in her life that changed her forever, it notified her of her status as a mutant, an other, the kind of thing parents told their kids to look out for. That night was the cause of her depression, her self-loathing and the reason she got addicted to things that were bad for her. She took every drug she could get her hands on to numb her, to make her forget. But it didn’t work and she usually ended up harming someone in her drug-induced haze. Ivy had hated herself; then along came a white man in a black suit with a pleasant smile named Coulson. 

Ivy took a deep breath and collected herself before turning the shower off. She wrapped a towel around her body and wiped the steam from the mirror, looking at her reflection. Her eyes were red and her face flushed but at least she was okay. 

The copperette stretched her hands above her head as she made her way to her closet. She was going back to Sister Mary Margret’s to speak to a certain ginger-haired bartender and she needed to look as enticing as her power was. She put on a pair of ‘gettin’ somes’, leather pants and a button-up. She wrapped her curls up in a knot on the top of her head and placed hoop earrings in her ears. She then tugged on some black chucks and put on a pair of raybans, making her way down to the lobby of the hotel. 

Ivy pulled out her cell phone, ringing Agent Peterson. “Peterson! Please tell me you’re downstairs already.” The young agent was interrupted when a car horn honked at her as she walked out of the hotel. Ivy smiled and got into the car, closing the door behind her. “How’s the wife?” 

“Fantastic.” The older agent replied with a grin. “She asked about you.” 

“Aw, I would love to come over for dinner again. Diane’s spaghetti is the best I’ve ever had.” Ivy noted, looking through her phone. 

“I’m sure she’d love that.” Peterson nodded, he made a turn on the road, “How was your meditation?” 

“Terrible. Don’t want to talk about it.” The copperette muttered, not looking up. She changed the subject, “I should be able to get some good info out of this ‘Weasel’ guy. I mean he thinks I’m hot so maybe I can use that to my advantage.”

Agent Peterson nodded once more, “Sexuality is your forte, Black.” 

Ivy clicked her teeth and winked at the older agent. “You better believe it, Pete.” 

The older agent chuckled as he parked across the street from the bar that Weasel tended. Ivy unbuckled her seatbelt and flipped the passenger cosmetic mirror down, checking her teeth. She pulled out a fiery red lipstick and lined her lips with it, pursing them in the mirror. “Wish me luck.” She quipped, opening the door of the SUV. 

“You never need it.” Agent Peterson retorted with a smile and Ivy laughed. 

The agent shut the door behind her and made her way to the entrance of the bar. She sauntered into the dank dive and spotted Weasel at the bar, telling a joke to one of the patrons. Ivy sat on a barstool in the center of the counter, her brown eyes studying the different names on a large chalkboard. ‘Dead pool’ it said on the top of the board. “Oh…” The copperette cooed in realization. 

“Hey barmaid,” She called out, her eyebrow quirked up, “Make me something good.” The ginger bartender walked over to her and she took off her sunglasses, winking at the awkward man. 

“No.” The ginger’s gray eyes widened and his curls moved as he shook his head. “Absolutely not.” 

“Oh come on Ron Weasley,” Ivy pouted, “Can’t we just let bygones be bygones? I mean that was ages ago!” 

“It was 36 hours ago and I still have nightmares of you stabbing that guy in the hands.” Weasel shivered and Ivy laughed at his discomfort. 

“I just want a drink.” The copperette stated, holding her left hand up. “I’ll be a good girl, scout’s honor.” 

The curly-haired barkeep gave her a lopsided smile and poured her a beer straight from the tap, sliding it in front of her. As Ivy took a sip of the brew, Weasel leaned against the counter. “So why are you following Wade?” 

The copperette slurped on her drink obnoxiously and licked her lips, totally aware of the ginger’s gaze on her mouth. “That is super secret business Gryffindor.” She faked a surprised gasp and covered her mouth with her hand. “Oops. I’m sorry, it’s like a gag reflex...if I had one.” Weasel’s mouth dropped and he started to stammer. The copperette threw her head back in a full-bellied cackle, laughing so hard she snorted. “I’m just kidding, Weasley, God. How long has it been since Hermione's come around?” 

“Ha ha,” The curly-haired barkeep scoffed, pushing his glasses closer to his face. “You’re so funny, Emma Stone.” 

Ivy snickered and her eyes looked past the grumpy man to the pictures taped to the bar wall behind him. A polaroid picture of a smiling couple caught her eye. It was a blonde man and a dark-haired woman. They were both wearing hilariously hideous christmas sweaters and the woman had a cherry ring pop on her finger. For some reason, the picture reminded her of her first boyfriend, though the man looked nothing like him. Maybe it was how happy they looked. “Cute couple.” She muttered, nodding to the picture. 

Weasel looked behind him and his eyes widened in panic. He quickly turned back to Ivy who was now looking at him with a raised brow. “Yeah…” He trailed, rubbing his neck sheepishly. 

The young agent connected the dots quickly and she narrowed her eyes at the bartender. She climbed on the barstool and hopped behind the counter, standing in front of Weasel, who was now blocking the picture. 

“The health inspector says you can’t be behind here!” The ginger man exclaimed, pushing himself closer to the bar wall. 

“I won’t tell if you won’t, pretty eyes.” Ivy cooed, smiling prettily up at the odd man. When he did not move, the redhead frowned and stomped on his foot, making him keel over. The agent easily pushed him out the way and grabbed the polaroid from the wall, inspecting it. “Wow...Hey four eyes,” She turned to the ginger man glaring at her with hate in his eyes. “Who’s the girl?” 

“Can’t tell you that. I refuse to tell you that. My lips are sealed.” Weasel followed the statements by zipping his lips and throwing away the key. 

“Tell me her name.” Ivy commanded, her power stronger because of her earlier meditation. 

“Vanessa Carlysyle.” Weasel sung like a canary. 

“Tell me her connection to Wilson.” 

“They were engaged before he got cancer.” 

Ivy looked up at the ginger man in surprise, her brows furrowed. “Cancer?” She whispered, “He had cancer?” The copperette collected herself and raised her voice once more. “Tell me what happened.” The ginger man paused and didn’t answer, making Ivy roll her eyes. “Tell me why they aren’t together anymore.” She specified. 

“He thinks she won’t love him when she-” Weasel was interrupted by the topic of conversation pushing him to the floor. The mercenary then turned to Ivy with a glare. 

“You don’t talk about Vanessa!” Deadpool shouted at her, a spandexed finger in the young agent’s face. He snatched the picture from the terrified woman’s hand and punched the mirrored wall next to her face, making the glass shatter. “I can’t fucking hurt you.” He snarled out, punching the other side of the mirror. “But I will find a way if you even think about the name ‘Vanessa’.” 

“Okay!” Ivy cried out, her alarmed brown eyes meeting his. “I’m sorry.” She breathed out sincerely, her eyebrow twitched nervously and she repeated, “I’m sorry.” 

The masked mercenary leaned into her threateningly once more and Ivy flattened her back against the smashed glass. He bucked towards her and the agent jumped, making the mercenary laugh jubilantly. “Let’s do lunch, gorgeous. All these threats have made me hungry.” 

A half an hour later the two were seated in a chinese buffet eating mushu pork. Well Ivy was eating mushu pork, Wilson was shoving food in his mask and pretending to chew. The animosity between the two had all but disappeared, though Ivy’s guard was still up. 

The copperette snorted out a laugh, “You look like a muppet.” She quipped, motioning her hand like a puppet. 

“Always the sweet talker, huh gorgeous?” Deadpool quipped, shoving a piece of pork against his mask, making Ivy giggle again. The truth was, he was just doing that to make her laugh; and to hide his crippling insecurity about his skin. Same thing, really.

“I don’t get what the big deal is Wilson,” Ivy started, taking a sip of her tea. “I’ve already seen your face. Why don’t you just take it off and eat?” 

“I don’t really need to take off the mask to eat, sweetcheeks. But,” Wilson’s mask stretched over his face in a smirk, “You’ll find that out soon enough.” 

Ivy’s face got hot but she narrowed her eyes, chewing on a piece of pork. “Shut up Wilson.” She snapped, before softening her voice. “Have you put any more thought into my proposal?” 

“The sex or…?” Ivy glared pointedly at him and he chuckled, “Okay, okay. I have thought about it...The sex I mean.” The mercenary leaned forward in his chair and lowered his voice. “All my nights have been like last night. My hand can’t keep up with my dick! I think I’m getting carpal tunnel, does this look right to you?” Deadpool asked, holding up his, obviously broken, wrist. 

“What the-” Ivy’s eyes widened and she choked on a piece of food. She coughed then rasped out incredulously, “When did you break your wrist?” 

Wilson shrugged and leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head and the hand with the broken wrist just flopped to the side. “Just now, for the joke.” 

Ivy shook her head and massaged her temples, sighing. “Wade...” The copperette muttered before realizing what she said. The agent quickly corrected herself, “I mean Wilson. Bitch. You. Wipe that look off your mask, idiot.” 

Wade was looking at the copperette with wide eyes, his hands on his face in surprise. “You...you... !” 

“I will take out my gun and shoot you in the groin.” Ivy glared, crossing her arms. 

“Say it again.” Wade willed her, nearly laying on the table and looking her in the eyes. 

“Absolutely not.” The agent shook her head, leaning away from him when he crawled towards her. 

“I’ll consider joining S.H.I.E.L.D.” The mercenary sung, now directly in Ivy’s face. 

The copperette rolled her eyes once more and glared into the blank, white eyes of his mask. She set her jaw and pursed her full lips, looking away from him and mumbling.

“I’m sorry, gorgeous. Couldn’t really hear you through the mask.” He cupped a hand around his ear, “Say it again. Real slow for daddy.” 

“Wade.” Ivy growled through clenched teeth, her eyes narrowing. “Wade, Wade, Wade. Happy?” 

Wade mewled and his masked stretched over his face in a smile, “Try the other ‘H’ word.” 

“So?” The copperette asked, her eyebrow quirked up. “Are you going to join?” 

The spandex-covered mercenary hummed in thought, his legs kicking behind him. Ivy watched him expectantly and bit her bottom lip, waiting for an answer. Wade’s eyes flickered from her eyes to her lip between her teeth and he hummed in thought once more. “Nah.” He finally answered, getting up from the table. “Thanks for the lunch, Vee.” He waved, walking out of the restaurant.

Ivy sighed and pressed a finger to her ear, “1423, subject is still denying proposal. Two days left to recruit Wade Wilson.” She finished her memo, threw money on the table and took out her cell phone, walking out the restaurant. 

“Peterson, where are-” The famed black SUV pulled up the restaurant and she got in, slamming the door behind her. 

“Any luck?” Agent Peterson asked as he pulled away from the curb.

“Nope.” Ivy sighed sadly, though in her mind she was thinking about the dark-haired woman in the polaroid picture and the fact that Wilson had cancer at some point in his life.


	7. Day Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day six of Ivy's mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go! Also, this shit is ten pages long.

Ivy watched the landscape roll by as she sat in the passenger seat of an SUV. She looked like a regular person today, wearing a pencil skirt and button up; she had no fancy disguise to follow Deadpool. She was just straight up going to his home and knocking on the door. 

The young agent had questions that needed answers and she was going to get them. She had spent all night reading Wilson’s file over and over again, trying to find something that she had missed; but the file made no mention of cancer or any other disease. 

Peterson pulled up to the crumbling apartment building and parked across the street. Ivy adjusted the sunglasses on her face and got out of the car, clacking her way to Wilson’s door. She knocked twice, an all business knock, short and with no rhythm. She waited, her arms crossed in front of her and when the door opened, Old Althea answered. 

The old blind woman sniffed the air around Ivy and raised an eyebrow. “You’re back?” 

The young woman took off her sunglasses. “Hello Ms. Althea.” She greeted before asking, “May I come in?” 

“Sure kid.” Althea nodded, turning around and letting Ivy in. The young agent closed the door behind her and watched with furrowed brows as the elder found her way to a lounger next to a disassembled cabinet. 

“Hiya Vee!” Deadpool greeted as he walked into the living area. 

Instead of a greeting, the agent turned to the mercenary beside her and whispered, “Why do you make her build furniture all day?” 

Wade shrugged as he made his way to his back to his bedroom, “It’s how she pays rent.” 

“There are so many questions…” Ivy muttered, following him into his room. The bedroom looked exactly how she left it last; the smell of teenage boy evident throughout. Instead of sitting down in the filthy room, Ivy leaned against his weapons table. 

“So,” The mercenary chimed, plopping on his bed and putting his elbows on his knees. “What can I do for ya, Vee?” 

The copperette cleared her throat and crossed her arms, her eyebrow twitching nervously. “I wanted to ask you some questions...about your illness.” 

“Eh, heh.” Deadpool uttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “They didn’t tell you?” 

“No.” Ivy shook her head, pausing and trying to find the words, “Is it...are you…” 

“It’s gone, technically. As gone as cancer can get.” Wade answered, in a rare serious moment. 

The curly-haired woman nodded and uncrossed her arms, biting her lip. “Where was it?” 

“Name a place.” The mercenary replied dryly and Ivy’s eyes looked at him with pity. Wade chuckled, shaking his head. “Aw, don’t cry.” He teased, trying to bring the playful air between them back. 

The hazel woman was about to snap at him, but she caught herself, instead taking a deep breath. “Maria said…” She stopped herself and pursed her lips. “My boss said that you were in an experimental program that was used to create mutants...” She crossed her arms again, very tense. “But they didn’t tell me….did they say they were going to cure your cancer? Is that why you volunteered?” Wade didn’t answer, instead looking away from her. 

“All this time I resented the fact that people like you would go and try to become mutants. Try to get what I have... But you were sick, you thought they would help you…” Ivy blinked her tears away and made a move to get closer to the mercenary, “Oh, Wade…” 

“Come on, sweetcheeks!” The spandex-clad man exclaimed, his mask spreading over his face in a grin. “Vee you’re supposed to snap at me and insult me. Then call me Wilson in that high pitched squeal you do when you’re annoyed.” He leaned toward her and lowered his voice mockingly, “All this crying is making my dick soft.” 

Ivy’s tear-filled eyes widened and her brow furrowed. “You’re disgusting.” She breathed out, rolling her eyes. “I’m pouring my heart out to you and all you can think about is fucking? U-unbelievable.” She finished, biting her lip to keep from laughing. 

“Welcome back, Agent Black.” Wade sung with a smile, he stood up from the bed and walked up to Ivy, standing in front of her. “So you are a mutant after all.” 

“S.H.I.E.L.D. calls us ‘enhanced’.” The agent explained, wiping her eyes. “But yeah. I’m a mutant. Half and half actually, the gene was just dormant in my mother.” Ivy looked up at the mercenary to see him gazing at her in a different way than usual. “What?” She grunted, her eyebrow twitching. 

“Nothing.” The masked merc chimed, his hands up in surrender. “I just got why you hate me so much.” 

Ivy groaned and walked away from the tall man, inspecting his room. She walked over to his window and looked out it, spotting the roof she was on less than two days ago. “I don’t hate you, Wilson.” 

“You don’t anymore, but you did.” His voice sounded from a distance away from her. Ivy just kept looking out the window, so Wade continued, “You thought I was just some idiot who wanted super powers, powers that you resented having because your parents thought you were a-” 

“Please shut up.” The young agent muttered, clenching her jaw. 

Wade’s voice got closer to her, “Not to mention the fact that you have another dangerous power, one that you thought I wouldn’t notice when you used it in the bar.” Ivy spun around to see that Wade was standing behind her. “I talked to the guy that you used it on; He said that it felt like all his energy was draining out of him. Care to tell me how that works and why you didn’t use it on me?” 

“I..” The copperette cleared her throat and looked down at her feet. “It drains the energy out of the affectees cells. It’s like a parasite. If I had held on longer than he would have died.” She exhaled deeply and looked up at Wade. “It doesn’t work on you because you can regenerate; your cells would have healed themselves before I could kill you.” She finished her explanation then furrowed her brows, “How did you-” 

“I’m way smarter than you think I am, Vee.” Wade smirked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Obviously.” The young agent breathed out, squinting her eyes and trying to see beyond the red and black mask. “ You were always a step ahead of me...How?” 

“As soon as you left my apartment I tailed your car.” Wilson shrugged, like it was no big deal. “I got your room number and set up surveillance while you were in the bathtub. Then I called you to make sure I could hear you from the microphone.” 

Ivy shook her head incredulously, running a hazel hand through her hair. “You sent me a picture from your bed; How could you have done that from my hotel room?” 

“Elementary my dear Vee!” Deadpool exclaimed with a grin, “I took the pictures earlier in the day; you underestimate how often I jack off.” 

“Who else did you send them to?” The young agent muttered angrily, before catching herself when Wade’s mask stretched tighter across his face. “I mean, what about the club, the bar, the roof? How could you have known I was there?” 

“Like I said,” Wade leaned down, getting in Ivy’s face. “I am way smarter than you think I am, Ivy Black.” The mercenary breathed out and Ivy’s eyebrow jumped up.

She licked her lips then took her bottom lip between her teeth. “Well Mr. Pool, I’ll be out of you hair tomorrow.” 

“I don’t have hair.” The mercenary rasped in retort and Ivy bit her tongue to keep from laughing. He took a curly, copper tendril around his finger and twirled it, “Why is that, gorgeous?” 

“I only had a week to recruit you and as of…” She checked her watchless wrist, “Three o’clock tomorrow, it has been a week and I am empty handed.” She finished with an exaggerated solemn look, looking up at Wade with her big brown eyes. 

Wade groaned, pushing Ivy against the window. “Please be saying what I think you’re saying.” 

The curly-haired woman smirked as the mercenaries spandexed-hands wrapped around her waist. “Not so fast, ladybug.” Ivy interjected, pushing him away from her with her finger. “I’m not fucking you on a semen-covered, twin mattress.” She stepped away from him and picked up her hat and glasses. “Meet me in my hotel room at nine. Not a minute before or after.” The copperette slid her glasses on her face, “Then you’ll see what I mean.” She purred, winking before sliding her glasses to cover her eyes. “Bye Ms. Althea!” The copperette then called, sauntering out the apartment. She got in the SUV and told Peterson nothing about the conversation she just had with her recruit. 

Now that she knew some of Wade’s background, she felt terrible. She had consistently treated the mask anti-hero like shit. She didn’t even try to understand what he went through to get the way he is. She just judged him, like the way people used to judge her. 

Agent Peterson pulled up to the hotel and Ivy thanked him, getting out of the car. She silently walked up to her room, her mind still distracted. When she finally made it into the safety of her hotel room; she got to work. 

Kicking off her shoes, Ivy tiptoed through the suite, silently looking for the camera that was planted there. The copperette huffed in exasperation when she couldn’t find the device. She sat on the bed and picked at her fingernail polish, scoffing. Feeling distraught, she got up from the bed and closed her curtains before catching sight of a blinking red light from the room’s smoke detector. 

Pushing a chair under the device, Ivy climbed up and examined it, seeing a faint black lense in the fire alarm. Smirking, she ripped the fire alarm from the ceiling, practically dancing in delight when the alarm did not go off. She held it up to her face and smiled, “Nice try Wade.” She chimed a before getting off the chair and using the butt of her gun to break the camera. 

Now that she was sure she wasn’t being watched, Ivy sprang into action. She ran herself a bath of vanilla and rose scented fragrances and soaked in the water, sighing in relief. When she was clean, the copperette broke out her razor and meticulously shaved her legs, making them baby smooth. She got out of the tub and drained the water, drying herself off. The copperette then lotioned herself up, not leaving a piece of skin untouched. After her teeth were thoroughly brushed, she rolled her hair up in huge curlers, wanting a blown out look. The agent walked out of her bathroom and into her suite, going through her suitcase. 

Ivy matched a pair of black, lace panties and a deep rouge bralette, smirking at her choice of colors. She wrapped a satin kimono robe around herself and picked up the suite’s phone, ordering a bottle of wine and some chocolate covered strawberries. The agent was going all out. 

She returned to the bathroom and took the curlers out her hair, fluffing her style in the mirror. The copperette lined her lips in her signature red lipstick, winking at herself in the mirror. She walked back into her suite and planted a few things under the mattress and in the nightstand; just in case things got a little heated. She dimmed the lights, only having a few of them on for ambience. 

A knock sounded at the door and she looked through the peephole to see that it was room service. She opened the door with a smile and the busboy rolled a table into her suite. The agent tipped the man handsomely and closed the door behind him. She checked her watch, seeing that is was 8:58. 

“Alright Ivy,” She muttered to herself, adjusting her breasts in her bra, “Showtime.” Two minutes later, at 9:00 on the dot, another knock sounded at Ivy’s door. 

The copperette took a deep breath and made the sign of the cross before opening her suite door and leaning against it. “Wilson.” She deadpanned, and the mercenary’s mask spread over his face in a grin. 

“Vee.” Wade nodded, before bringing a hand from behind his back, revealing flowers. 

They were dead roses; literal dead roses with crusty petals. ‘Be nice.’ Ivy chanted in her head, managing a smile as she took the decrepit plants. “Come in, Wilson.” She insisted, opening the door wider.

Deadpool walked past her and hummed, examining the room. “It’s so nice to not see it through a computer screen!” He chatted, before catching a glimpse of the wine and strawberries. “Oooh,” He cooed, walking over to the table, “You’re tryna seduce me aren’t cha?” 

Ivy threw the dead roses in a random corner of the room and walked over to the mercenary, smiling prettily. “You are so smart, Wilson. I can’t get anything past you.” She purred, pushing Wade to sit on the couch. 

“Oh ho ho.” The spandexed-man chuckled, putting his hands behind his head. “You going to dance for me, Vee?” 

“Not on your life.” The copperette replied, sitting on his lap. She put her hands on his shoulders and slowly, oh so slowly, began to grind on his bulge. He groaned in response and his hands quickly went to her ass, pressing him tighter against her. Ivy put her mouth right next to his ear and breathed, “I have some things planned for you, Mister Wilson.” Deadpool shivered and moved his hands to remove her robe. The agent stopped the motion, instead lacing her hands with his. “Un uh. Not yet.” She whispered, smirking. She then got off of him and motioned to the bed, “Lay on the bed, Pool.” 

Wade hurried and obeyed her, without even needing a push from the agent’s power. He rested his head on the pillows and put his hands behind his head once more. Ivy rolled the food table over to the bed and stood in front of it, smiling seductively with her hands on her hips. “Don’t move.” She ordered and the anti-hero froze. She chuckled breathily and took out the ties she hid under the mattress. She stretched out the ties in her hands and smirked, first tying Wade’s feet the bed posts. 

“God gorgeous, you’re killing me.” Wade articulated through strained lips. Ivy cackled loudly and straddled the spandexed man, her breasts in his face as she handcuffed his hands to two separate posts on the headboard. 

“Consider this,” Ivy muttered, slowly removing her robe. “A white flag.” Wilson let out a strangled garble, the agent feeling his stomach tighten below her. “Move.” She ordered and Wade exhaled shakily. 

“Not my colors, Vee.” Wilson groaned, lifting his hips to try and meet hers. 

The copperette shook her head and placed a hand on his chest, pushing him back on the bed. “Be a good boy for me, Wilson.” She cooed, before muttering to herself. “Don’t freak out.” She began to reach under his shirt and he started to fight against the bindings, realizing what she was doing. 

“Okay Vee, wait a minute.” Deadpool called, but Ivy didn’t listen. “Seriously, Ivy stop.” 

“Relax.” The copperette cooed in reply, but she was almost thrown off the bed by the movement of Wade’s body. “Damn it Wilson! Stop moving.” She demanded and he froze.

“WAIT. Just wait a fucking minu-” The mercenary protested once more, just as Ivy finally lifted his spandex shirt.

“Oh Wade…” The young woman mumbled, for underneath Wade’s suit was scarred, pink skin. Her eyes scanned over his skin and she bit her lip, pulling his pants over his hips. She looked up at Wade with wide eyes and reached for his mask, slowly pulling it over his face. Deep brown eyes mirroring her own stared back at her blankly. Every inch of Wade was scarred, even his face. 

Ivy leaned back, still straddling his waist. She took a deep breath and Wade prepared for her reaction. “I’ve seen worse.” 

The mercenary snorted and he would have rolled his eyes if he could move. “No you haven’t.” 

“You’ve obviously never sucked uncircumsized dick in an alleyway for an ounce of cocaine.” Ivy stated, crossing her arms over her scantily-clad chest. 

Wade’s eyes looked away for a second, before staring back at Ivy, “...I have not.” He acquiesced, wishing he could smirk at her. 

The copperette grinned widely before grabbing a knife from the nightstand. “Do you have another suit? Because this next activity requires you to be nude.” She raised an eyebrow, flipping the knife between her fingers. 

“You’ll owe me tailoring money, missy!” Wade responded, his inhibitions on the back burner. 

“Shut up, Wade.” Ivy chimed, cutting the rest of the suit off of him and removing his gloves and boots. He was now completely naked under her, and the copperette trailed her finger down his stomach. “Very impressive, I must say. The suit does you no justice.” The agent informed him with a smirk. Wade tried to speak, but no words came out, his body citing the early command she had made. 

Ivy reached over to the food table and grabbed a strawberry, licking the tip of it teasingly. She got a groan in reply and she chuckled, “We’re going to have some fun~” She sung lowly, before dragging the strawberry down his chest. The warmth of her mouth made the chocolate soften and it left a sweet trail in its wake. The copperette bent down and looked up at Wade through her lashes and trailed her tongue down his torso. The mercenary’s stomach muscles tightened under her and he let out a low whimper. Ivy held the strawberry up to his lips, “Bite, Wilson.” 

Deadpool obeyed, taking a small bite of the fruit. Ivy ate the rest of it and put the top back on the plate. “You know,” The young woman started, a mocking hand on her chin, “You look great like this, Wilson. Not talking and all. Makes you seem stoic and interesting.” She let out a little laugh when he narrowed his eyes. “If I untie you will you be good?” She asked with childishly wide eyes and a pout. Of course, the mercenary couldn’t answer, so he grunted instead. “Okay, okay.” Ivy laughed, as she undid the bindings on his legs. “I hear ya.” She snickered at herself, undoing his hands. Wade still laid on the bed unmoving, though his prick was hard as a rock and curled towards his belly. 

Ivy stared at him with a smirk, her eyebrow twitching in delight. She licked her lips at him, ordering out, “Speak.” 

“You are so fucking lucky I can’t move right now, Vee!” The nude man swore, “I am going to fold you in fucking half and fuck you until you see stars. You’re going to be shaking when I’m done! I swear to-” The bald man’s voice caught in his throat as Ivy licked a strip from his balls to the head of his penis. 

“Oh please,” She purred, smirking up at him, “I doubt it, bitch.” 

Deadpool exhaled deeply through his nose and he chuckled lowly. “You’re going to get it.” 

“Hmm?” Ivy tilted her head up, pressing her full lips against his dick once again. “Did I struck a nerve?” She let the question hang in the air and she mumbled against him. “Bitch.” She uttered, placing a kiss on his prick’s head. “Bitch.” She said again, kissing him on his scarred abdomen. “Bitch.” She mumbled, kissing his chest. The copperette woman looked deep into her adversary’s eyes and flicked her tongue against his chapped lips. “Beh...it...ch..” She leaned back and laughed, a full cackle from her belly and whispered, “Move.” 

In an instant, Ivy was on back with her hands pinned above her head. She smirked wolfishly as the mercenary glowered down at her, fire in his brown eyes. “Now Vee,” The bald man cooed raspily, pinning the hazel-skinned woman against the mattress. “What am I going to do with you?” 

“Fuck me I hope.” Ivy replied smartly, smirking. 

Wade chuckled and nuzzled his face into her neck, his hand yanking her bra down. “I really really really want to fuck you as fast and hard as a bad girl like you deserves but I can’t do that because you, being the manipulative little shit you are, told me I couldn’t hurt you.” He trailed his lips down to chest and nipped on her nipple, making Ivy gasp. “Say those magic words, princess.” The copperette bit her lip in response and shook her head. “Little shit.” Wade muttered with a laugh, completely tearing her bra off of her. “Cute little tits, though.” He nodded towards her chest, running his large, calloused hand over them. 

The mercenary leaned back and rubbed his hands over her smooth legs, groaning at the feeling of them. He felt between her legs and gasped mocking, “Is all that for me, Agent Black? You’re so dirty, taking advantage of a young recruit like this.” He pulled her panties down her legs and raised them to his nose, taking a deep breath. “Oh wow,” He breathed out, sniffing them again. “I’m keeping these.” 

“That’s disgusting.” Ivy grimaced, before biting her lip, “And a little arousing…” 

“Say the magic words~” Wade sung in response, dropping the panties on the bed. He let go of her wrists and placed his head between her thighs, getting a strong hold of them. “Don’t scream okay, I don’t want a noise complaint.” He cockily said and Ivy rolled her eyes. 

“Shut u-” The young agent couldn’t finish her insult because her breath was taken from her as Wade ran his tongue up the length of her vulva, in the similar way she did to his dick. She felt the tip of his tongue circle around her clit, before he pressed his tongue against the nub. “Jesus Christ!” She whined, trying to close her legs. 

“Nah,” The mercenary muttered against her, “Just Wade. You taste like you smell. Can I make an ice cream from your pussy because I-” The chatty Cathy was interrupted by Ivy shoving his face back in between her legs. “‘mkay, ‘mkay.” He babbled into her folds, making the girl shiver. He inserted two fingers into her and curled them, finding that spongy spot within Ivy like he’s been there before. 

“Oh my God, Wade!” Ivy screamed between clenched teeth before whimpering. Wade laughed and pulled back from her cunt, spitting on it lewdly, then returning to her clit. “Who are you?” The copperette called out incredulously, twisting and turning on the mattress. 

“My friends call me Pool,” Wade retorted with a grin, “But you can call me daddy.” He pulled his fingers out of her and chuckled at her whine. “I know, I know. But I gotta a bigger treat for ya, Vee.” He grinned wolfishly and yanked the woman’s body down to his, spreading her legs wide. The scarred man placed his head at the agent’s entrance, slowly pushing into her. 

“I think…” Ivy muttered, feeling Wade in her abdomen, “I see heaven’s light.” 

Wade nodded in agreement, looking down at her with fond eyes. “Your pussy feels like a christmas sweater made of the finest wool.” He started to move agonizingly slowly, filling Ivy up. 

“For the love of God,” The copperette called, glaring up at Wade. “Move.” She finished with a whine, though in her haze she didn’t tilt her words. 

“Nope.” Wade replied, smirking cockily. Ivy’s hands reached for him but he pressed them to the bed. “Nope.” The agent whined once more and pouted, her plump lip jutting out. The bald man bent down and took her bottom lip in his mouth, sucking on it greedily as he slowly rolled his hips. 

“Okay,” Ivy sobbed, “Okay, hurt me. Choke me. Smack my ass and pull my hair! Just fuck me, please!” 

“All you had to say.” Wade grunted, bending Ivy in half and ramming into her. She let out a strained gasp as one of his hands went to her throat, restricting her intake of air. She covered his scarred hand with her hazelnut one and made him squeeze harder, loving the feeling of being light headed. Her other hand scratched her nails down her lover’s chest, making the scarred man groan. 

Wade reached a hand behind her and yanked her, now curly, hair in retaliation. Ivy’s head yanked back and the mercenary leaned over her, a hand at her throat and a hand in her hair. “You like the way I fill you up, Vee? Your tight little pussy wrapped around me?” He rasped, right above Ivy’s face. 

“I hate you so much.” The copperette muttered back with tears in her eyes. She cried out once more as she felt herself tightening around him. 

“You’re talking a lot of shit for someone who's about to cum for me.” Wade got a glare in return and he laughed, taking the hand from around her throat and rubbing her clit. 

“Son of a-!” Ivy didn’t finish her thought as her eyes fluttered closed and her mouth fell open. Tears ran down her cheeks as she whined, her back arching off the bed. Wade laughed and kissed her open mouth, shoving his tongue into it like he did her pussy prior. The copperette moaned once more and opened her legs wider, running her nails down his back. 

“Wanna see a magic trick?” Wade grinned before leaning back on the bed and making Ivy straddle him in a new position. The hazel-skinned woman, placed her hands on his chest and smirked.

“Well now you’ve done it.” Ivy chimed, raising her hips all the way up until he almost fell out of her, then she slammed down on him. 

“Shit!” The scarred man rasped out, his hands going to her hips. Ivy repeated the action, rolling her pelvis against him. She leaned forward and pushed her breasts in his face; Wade leaned up and nipped at them, smacking her ass as he did so. 

Ivy threw her head back as he spanked her and placed a hand on his scarred head, pressing him closer to her chest. Feeling him roll her nipple between his teeth, she shuddered her hips stuttering. Wade retorted by thrusting up into Ivy, making her whine. 

“Wade…” She cooed, pushing against him as he thrusted into her. The utterance of his name made the mercenary grip Ivy’s hips tighter and the copperette smirked in realization. “Wade…” She called again, bending completely so her body could rub against his. 

The feeling of her soft skin against his rough skin made him shiver. Wade gripped Ivy’s ass and held her up as he fucked her. “Don’t...fucking...move.” He rasped, his eyes on hers. “Don’t...you...fucking...move...Eye…” He stammered hitting a deep spot in the woman above him, “Vee…” He clenched his jaw and exhaled through his nose as he began to cum, one of his hands going to Ivy’s neck and pulling her head to him. He pressed his lips to hers, his hips starting to stutter. With one final thrust and a smack on Ivy’s bum, the two were exhausted. 

The young hazel-skinned woman laid on the scarred man’s chest, breathing heavily. “Not bad, Wilson.” She muttered breathlessly, her eyes fluttering closed. 

“Eh,” Wade muttered back, “It was alright.” He finished with a smirk, adjusting his hips as he realized he was still in her. 

“You’re alright.” Ivy insulted, or so she thought, sleepily. 

“I’m spectacular.” The mercenary responded, running a hand over Ivy’s soft back. It seemed like he couldn’t get enough of the feeling of her skin; it was such a contrast from his. Plus he thought it looked creamy, like a milkyway bar. 

“Your mama’s spectacular.” She mumbled back, snickering tiredly at her joke. 

“Go to sleep, Vee.” Wade chimed, staring at the ceiling. It was quiet for a moment in the hotel suite, and the merc thought that Ivy had fallen asleep, but just as his eyes began to flutter closed he heard a faint voice. 

“Don’t leave.”


	8. Day Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day Seven of Ivy's mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well babes, it's time to go. Thank you for your views, comments and kudos. It was much appreciated. Look out for the next installment, I'm giving you a week to breath before I take your breath away again.

A blinding light took over Ivy’s vision as her eyes fluttered open. The hazel-skinned woman groaned and buried her head in the mattress. “Turn out the fucking sun.” She murmured, pouting. A burning feeling started to climb up her legs and the feeling of a phallic structure that was not there made Ivy sit up, looking around the room. 

“Wade?” She called out, squinting her eyes at the light. “Wilson? Where are you?” The young woman ran a hand through her curls and got up from the bed, going into the bathroom to pee. 

The masked mercenary couldn’t have left; she ordered him not to. So where was he? 

Ivy wiped herself and got up, flushing the toilet and looking at herself in the mirror. She had hickies all along her neck and on her breasts. Her lips were bruised and red and the makeup she had put on was smugged. The hazel skin of her hips and ass were ripened with an underlying shade of red. 

The redhead bit her lip and called out again, “Wade?” She patted out of the bathroom and back into the suite, looking around the room. She wrapped her arms around herself and slowly walked around the suite. He was gone. 

Ivy furrowed her brows and walked back to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. Her plan had failed. Her last attempt to get him to come with her had fallen through. It was what she had deserved; she shouldn’t have tried to use her power to keep him there. She laid back on the bed and sighed, staring at the ceiling. 

The young woman rolled over and caught sight of the food tray beside the bed. The top was placed on the tray neatly, though Ivy could not remember covering it last night. She sat up and stared at the cover, her eyebrow twitching anxiously. 

The agent took a deep breath and reached for the cover, closing her eyes as she quickly lifted it. When nothing exploded, Ivy peeked an eye open. “What the fuck…?” She muttered, seeing a severed, scarred hand on a plate with it’s pinky, index and middle finger up. Next to the hand was a note. Ivy reached for the paper, snatching it from the tray hastily. She unfolded it and was surprised to see such neat handwriting. 

‘Vee,

I’m impressed! You almost got me! Muttering that order under your breath was clever, but I outsmarted you again! You see, I knew that all this was a ploy to get me to cum with you, I mean come with you, but I wanted to tap that sweet ass before you left. 

You should know that I tried to leave and it didn’t work. Your power is very strong, like your pussy, and I couldn’t leave! I tried the window, the door, the vents; but I couldn’t go. So guess what I did? You said don’t leave, but you never said all of me had to stay! So I left you a souvenir, a little toy to play with just in case you miss me! You’re very smart Vee, but I’m smarter :-3! 

Smell ya later little shit, 

Deadpool

P.S. You are the best antagonist a guy could ask for’

Under the handwriting was a crudely drawn picture of Wade in his suit with a stick figure on its knees in front of him. The stick figure had huge spiral curls coming out of its head.

Ivy started to giggle, then she started to full out laugh. She fell back on the bed and clutched her stomach, gasping for breath. The young copperette cackled, rolling around the bed and shaking her head. “You got me, Wilson.” She breathed before chuckling again. “I know you’re probably watching me right now, wherever you are, with your hand in your pants.” She nodded with a grin, running a hand through her hair. “I’m going to miss you, idiot.” 

After a long, hot shower and a change of clothes, Ivy was packing her suitcase to leave the sunny state. As she folded her clothes into the case, she smirked when she couldn’t find her black panties that she wore the night before. When she was done packing, she tied her hair up in a tight bun. She let out a yawn and did a once over of the room, looking for anything she had missed. 

When she was completely finished packing she picked up Wade’s severed hand and examined it. Deciding that leaving a hand in a hotel suite would not be good manners, Ivy put the hand in her suitcase. “No funny business!” She warned, with a glare, shutting the trunk tight. With a final look around the room she slipped her sunglasses on her face and patted out of the suite. 

Ivy got downstairs and Agent Peterson took her bag for her, driving off towards the airport. “I’m going to miss this place.” The older agent said to the copperette, who in turn scoffed. 

“This place is too cheery and sunny for me. I like the dark streets of Manhattan.” Ivy chatted, scrolling through her emails. 

“Sorry you didn’t get your guy, kid.” Peterson sighed, glancing over to the young woman. 

Ivy waved his concern off, smiling. “It’s fine, Peterson. Just pray that Maria doesn’t chop my head off and put it on a pike when I get home.” 

“Quick tip,” The older agent started, taking the turn into the landing strip of the airport. “Do your report on the plane trip back. It’ll be easier to save your ass if you’re prepared.” He pulled up to the private jet that the organization had sent for Ivy and parked. 

“Thanks for the advice, Pete.” Ivy nodded, climbing out of the car. 

The older man got her luggage out of the car for her and held his hand out for her to shake. “It’s been fun.”

The copperette rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around the burly man. “Tell Diane I said ‘hello’.” She pulled back with a smile, “And tell her to send me some of those snickerdoodles; I need a motherly touch.” 

Peterson chuckled and nodded, patting her on the back. “Take care, kid.” 

Ivy winked back, climbing the ramp into the jet. Her luggage was taken from her and she sat down in a cozy seat, opening her briefcase and pulling out her tablet. She cracked her knuckles and began typing out her mission report; hoping that the explanation of her failure would save her head. She spent the entirety of her flight writing out her report and proposal; not taking a break to sip on her usual flight cocktail. 

By the time that the jet had landed back at headquarters, Ivy was prepared to take on an army. As she got off the plane, she was immediately ushered to the meeting rooms on the briefing floor. The elevator ride to the meeting was the longest ride she’d ever taken in her life; well that was kind wrong, because her bus ride to New York from buttfuck, Alabama was longer by a couple miles… 

The point was that Ivy was nervous. The lift seemed to shrink and she felt as if she could not breath. She took her sunglasses off and wiped her eyes, sighing deeply. She was fine, she was fine, she was fine, she was fine. 

The elevator doors dinged open and the young woman raised her head up high, and blanked her face, ready for business. She made her way to her assigned meeting room and delicately placed the pads of her fingers on the scanner, unlocking the door. 

When she walked in the room four people were seated at the conference table; Maria Hill, Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers and Director Fury. The top of the top people in S.H.I.E.L.D. were waiting for her to tell them she failed. 

“Afternoon everyone.” Ivy nodded to her superiors, going to stand in front of the room. She got stern greetings back as she opened her briefcase and got her files out. 

“Mission report, Agent Black.” Director Fury cut straight to the point, crossing his arms. 

“Right,” Ivy mumbled, handing a copy of her report to all of the people in the room. “I was sent to San Francisco assess and recruit one Wade Wilson, alias Deadpool. Mr. Wilson showed no signs of wanting to join our organization, so I was instructed to follow the subject for a week.” The agent scrolled through her tablet and continued speaking, “Though I was sent to retrieve Mr. Wilson and recruit him, my assessment of the subject was that he is not fit to be recruited.” 

“That’s not your call, Agent.” Director Fury chided, sitting forward in his seat. 

“I know, but with all due respect Director Fury, hear me out.” Ivy breathed, her eyebrow quirking nervously. “Wade Wilson is a terror; he doesn’t work well with others, he’s reckless, he’s immature, I could go on and on. If we were to recruit him in our organization he would be a little more than a liability. If you look on page three of my report; it lists an incident where Mr. Wilson shot into an unarmed car with civilians around. Is that kind of person we want working for us?” 

“So you’re saying,” Captain Rogers started, pursing his lips, “That this ‘Deadpool’ would put people in danger?” Ivy nodded and the captain turned to the director, “Fury I don’t think that this is a good idea…” 

“If all of what you say is true,” Natasha piped up, “How does he have so many kills under his belt? The person you wrote about sounds like an neanderthal.” 

Ivy furrowed her brows and shook her head, feeling the sudden urge to defend the masked vigilante. “Yes, Deadpool’s methods are unorthodox. And sure, he walks around in a spandex suit 24/7. But he is not an idiot. He’s actually the farthest thing from it.” 

“From some of the things in this report, it would seem like we should be picking him up on charges not handing him a badge and a title.” Steve said frowning. 

The copperette dismissed the claim with a wave of her hand, “He didn’t hurt anyone, Cap. Wade Wilson is one of the best people I have ever met. Though I don’t think he is appropriate for S.H.I.E.L.D., I think he is an upstanding member of the community and a much needed presence.” The agent flipped to the last page of her report, “I recommend we leave him alone...in all aspects.” Ivy finished, looking over at the director nervously. 

The older man had a stern look on his face, but it wasn’t a grimace. He flipped through the pages of her report once more before leaning back in his chair and looking up at the young agent. “Alright,” Director Fury finally responded, making Ivy let out a breath, “I trust your judgement, Agent Black. Now if you would excuse me.” The director got up from his chair and shook Ivy’s hand before nodding to Maria, the two of them leaving the room. 

The hazel-skinned woman let out a sigh of relief, “Thank God, I thought I was in trouble.” 

“Why do you always think you’re in trouble?” Natasha asked with a smirk and Ivy shrugged. 

“Because I am.” The curly-haired girl looked over to the blonde, “Right Cap?”

Steve shrugged his shoulders and smiled, “You’ve gotten better.” 

Ivy laughed and put her files away, making a move to leave the meeting room. “This has been grand, but I need a bubble bath and a drink.” She bid her two superiors farewell and walked to the elevator, beaming when the doors opened to reveal a Maximoff. “Wanda!” 

The telepath smiled fondly and the curly-haired woman. “Little plant, you are back so soon. How did your mission go?” 

“It was alright,” Ivy shrugged, “I didn’t recruit the guy.” 

“You do not seem all that upset,” Wanda noted, her eyes flashing scarlet. She then began to smirk, “That is why…” 

“...I hate when you do that.” The agent glared, “I would have told you.” 

The telepath shrugged and let out a little chuckle. “You took too long.” 

“Oh deed eye?” Ivy responded, making fun of Wanda’s accent. 

The Maximoff yanked a curl on Ivy’s head in response, “Do not be cute, little plant.” 

The lift’s doors opened and Ivy pouted, walking out of the elevator. “That’s an impossible task, Scar.” She replied cockily as the doors closed. She opened the door to her apartment and took a deep breath of air, happy to be home. She kicked off her shoes and walked back to her bedroom, where her luggage was placed on her bed but something about her suitcase made her furrow her brows; it was open.

“Hello…?” Ivy called out into her apartment, slowly reaching for the gun under her skirt. “Is anyone there?” She inched further into the room, her eyes scanning the stark white room. The agent silently padded through the room, checking spaces for an intruder. When she was finished she found nothing. 

The copperette slumped on her bed and stared at her suitcase. She knew she wasn’t crazy; who would open her suitcase before she got in her room? 

From the corner of her eye, she saw something scurry across her floor. Thinking it was a spider, Ivy screamed and jumped to stand on the bed. Ever the sensible person, the young woman pointed her gun at the floor. She breathed heavily as she watched her bedroom carpet with wide eyes, waiting for the bug to scurry once more. 

The bug seemed to have other plans, for when Ivy peeked over the bed, a hand appeared. The curly-haired woman screamed bloody murder and hopped back, falling on the mattress. She crawled back until her back hit the headboard and shakily pointed her gun to the edge of the bed. 

The hand popped up and scurried towards her, making Ivy pull the trigger but her safety was on. The copperette screamed once more and threw the gun at the hand. The scarred hand dodged the gun and scrambled to the frightened woman, crawling up her legs. 

“What the fuck!” Ivy yelled, “Get off me, get off me, get off me!” The hand did not listen, instead running up her body and bopping her on the nose with its index finger. The redhead stopped freaking out then, instead glaring at the severed hand. “...Wade?” She whispered, looking down at the hand on her chest.The thing raised two of its fingers in a wave and crawled up her shoulders, burying its digits in her hair. “Ow, what are you…? Stop! Don’t pull my hair you little shit.” The hand hurried down her back and under her skirt. 

Ivy cursed, throwing the severed hand down on the carpet. She ran towards her gun and undid the safety, firing a whole round into the thing. The hand’s digits closed up like a spider’s legs and it remained still. The agent took a deep breath and fell back on the mattress, biting her lip. 

It seemed that even thousands of miles away, she could hear Wade Wilson laughing at her. “Idiot.” The hazel-skinned woman cursed harshly, though a smile played on her lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on my [fanfiction tumblr](http://deepett.tumblr.com/) , I answer questions and stuff and things.


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